I donβt really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
What did the keyboard say when the gamer went backwards, left, and then right, directly into lava?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 11 2021
Two guys were arguing. One of them had only a left hand and one had only a right hand.
After a while, the left handed guy realized that the other guy was right, so he left.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 05 2021
What did the right lung say to the left lung?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
Research shows that left handed people waste more food than right handed people
Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
If 3 lefts make a right, what do 2 rights make?
π︎ 64
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
What did the left eye say to the right?
Just between you and me,
something smells.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
2 parts to a brain...The left side and a right side.
On the left side, there's nothing right.
On the right side, there's nothing left.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
My left nut thinks it's much better than my right nut...
He can be very egotesticle.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
"Confucius Says...War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. βYou need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,β I told her. βDo you mow the whole yard in one direction.β
βWhy?β she asked.
βBecause thatβs what makes it beautiful.β
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
What did the right side of my head say to the left?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
π︎ 25
π
︎ May 29 2020
The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...
I guess I'm just lambidextrous...
I'll show y'all to the door.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
I have two right feet. I went to a bowling alley, they gave me two left shoes. I said βthese arenβt rightβ
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
If you cut your left hand, your right hand will be left.
Similar to... cutting both your left arm and leg makes you alright...
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 22 2020
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
Son: Dad, why is it called Right and Left?
Dad: Well son, back when I was a boy your Right hand was the right one to use, and if you didn't then your Left hand was the only one left.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
Have you heard of the guy who lost his left side? Yeah, he's all right now.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
My π£ββοΈ coach asked if I wanted to row right or left?
I said it doesnβt matter, right, left, either oar
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 31 2020
What did the right ear say to the left ear?
Hey! We live on the same block.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
My left foot doesnβt feel right.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
My alt-left and alt-right friends needed some space between them.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 24 2017
If two right handed people kill eachother whoβs left.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Iβm debating whether to write βYESβ on my left hand and βNOβ on my right hand.
I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.
π︎ 120
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
My buddy is getting his left arm amputated tomorrow. Don't worry, he'll be all right.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
What do you have if you have a snowball in your right and a snowball in your left hand?
Frosty's full and undivided attention!
π︎ 40
π
︎ Apr 09 2019
My new podiatrist doesnβt know his right from his left.
We started off on the wrong foot.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
My left thumb doesnβt agree with my right thumbβs political views.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
Did you hear about the man who's whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 27 2019
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
π︎ 213
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
You have 2 parts to a brain...Left and Right...
In the left side, there's nothing right and in the right side, there's nothing left.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me something smells
π︎ 69
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
What did the right eye say to the left one?
Between you and me man something smells
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
π︎ 455
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
What did the right eye said to the left one ?
Between me and you something smells
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
If you cut off your left arm then your right arm will be left.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
If you cut off your left arm then your right arm would be left.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Sep 14 2018
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
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