I don’t really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.

Either oar.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DenisMcK
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the keyboard say when the gamer went backwards, left, and then right, directly into lava?

sad

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DredgenLore
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Two guys were arguing. One of them had only a left hand and one had only a right hand.

After a while, the left handed guy realized that the other guy was right, so he left.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the right lung say to the left lung?

We be-lung together

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FunchPalcon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Research shows that left handed people waste more food than right handed people

Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
If 3 lefts make a right, what do 2 rights make?

Airplanes.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djkarate1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tambalajus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right?

Just between you and me,

something smells.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Silverback55
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
2 parts to a brain...The left side and a right side.

On the left side, there's nothing right.

On the right side, there's nothing left.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My left nut thinks it's much better than my right nut...

He can be very egotesticle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
"Confucius Says...War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. β€œYou need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. β€œDo you mow the whole yard in one direction.”

β€œWhy?” she asked.

β€œBecause that’s what makes it beautiful.”

Oh, the eye roll on this kid.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the right side of my head say to the left?

Comb over and hang out

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cihan_emre
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...

I guess I'm just lambidextrous...

I'll show y'all to the door.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I have two right feet. I went to a bowling alley, they gave me two left shoes. I said β€œthese aren’t right”
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I-like-art-27
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If you cut your left hand, your right hand will be left.

Similar to... cutting both your left arm and leg makes you alright...

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hzardous_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.

'Stuff was completely one-sided

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unspecified_bagel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, why is it called Right and Left?

Dad: Well son, back when I was a boy your Right hand was the right one to use, and if you didn't then your Left hand was the only one left.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apprehensive_Unit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the guy who lost his left side? Yeah, he's all right now.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziMen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My πŸš£β€β™€οΈ coach asked if I wanted to row right or left?

I said it doesn’t matter, right, left, either oar

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the right ear say to the left ear?

Hey! We live on the same block.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbiiggdd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My left foot doesn’t feel right.
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Touchstone033
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My alt-left and alt-right friends needed some space between them.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beglat
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2017
🚨︎ report
If two right handed people kill eachother who’s left.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?

You're my solemate

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m debating whether to write β€œYES” on my left hand and β€œNO” on my right hand.

I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgeekXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy is getting his left arm amputated tomorrow. Don't worry, he'll be all right.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you have if you have a snowball in your right and a snowball in your left hand?

Frosty's full and undivided attention!

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerBearBar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My new podiatrist doesn’t know his right from his left.

We started off on the wrong foot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My left thumb doesn’t agree with my right thumb’s political views.

He finds them opposable.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who's whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.

<3

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charles101_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

πŸ‘︎ 213
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rparry40
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us it smells

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
You have 2 parts to a brain...Left and Right...

In the left side, there's nothing right and in the right side, there's nothing left.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me something smells

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the right eye say to the left one?

Between you and me man something smells

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriptor55
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

πŸ‘︎ 455
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the right eye said to the left one ?

Between me and you something smells

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cursedtortoise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If you cut off your left arm then your right arm will be left.
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naam_Karan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If you cut off your left arm then your right arm would be left.
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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