Revolved Puns

Eventually she came around.

I could finally say I have a magnum dong

Mary go round.

"...not our Sun."

What a revolutionary idea!

I said, “You’ll come around eventually.”

...that way, the door is always ajar.

But I'm their sun

Because no one expects the Spanish ink precision!

But I was arrested for having a congealed weapon

It just feels like I’m going in circles.

A penguin in a revolving door

She puts it in the socket and expects the world to revolve around her.

But I gave it another shot and it blew me away

I guess that means I’m not actually their sun.

Now I can see her coming around.

I said, “Don’t worry. You’ll come around eventually.”

I told her that hers does because he's her son and the world revolves around the son.

"The world dosen't REVOLVER-ound you."

They're revolutionary.

I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."

I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.

I think they’re still going round together.

Me: Do you think the world just revolves around you?!

Son: Well I am a s(u)n...

Me: ...

Sun: ...

When I play it, they are the Revolving Doors.

Just one, he holds the bulb up and the world revolves around him

They both dedicated their life to convincing people the universe doesn’t revolve around them.

It really makes my day.

A Colt revolver!

The plot revolves around an MD whose patients all have unusual symptoms and need to be seen by a specialist.

Working title: REFER MADNESS

He orders a drink and sandwich. He eats, has a fine time with the others in the bar, and then heads towards the door when he's about ready to leave. But just before he does, he pulls out a pistol and empties all 6 rounds from the revolver right into the ceiling.

The bartender is frightened and angry he asks the bear "why did you do that??" He looks at the bartender and says "Panda. Look it up."

Intrigued by the night's occurrences, the bartender then goes home after closing and looks up "Panda'' in the dictionary. The entry for the animal said "Panda: Marsupial. Originating in Asian regions and commonly known for it's remarkably contrasting colors of black and white. Eats shoots and leaves.

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, “I no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, “Let’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, “Little Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, “No way José! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, “Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

For centuries, we've used our shop as a means of teaching the youngest of our lineage the importance of teamwork, the value of a dollar and, most importantly, the self-satisfaction felt in a job well-done.

In the past few weeks, it's been repeatedly brought to my attention that our youngest child, Sheeran, has been demonstrating particularly helpful and productive tendencies so, today, I felt it was finally time to experience the honor of rewarding his efforts, offering him the opportunity to join our workforce; to which he was nothing short of ecstatic!

I'll be honest, I initially withheld concerns that his excitement would subside once I explained the sorts of menial work I'd have to start him off on but, to my relief, he took no issue in hearing that his duties would mostly revolve around wiping our patrons' hair off of the chairs, and sweeping it up from the floor.

Sharing a moment of beautiful silence, exchanging our most heartfelt of smiles and basking in this pivotal moment of his development, I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, "Son...

You are really going to have your work cut out for you."

A trio of explorers were hiking through the Congo and found a small village that was very isolated and not on any map. The villagers turned out to speak English very well, and informed the adventurers very politely that theirs was a village of cannibals and they were to be cooked and eaten, and their hides tanned and turned into canoes for the villagers, but they would allow them to take their own life however they saw fit.

The first man asks for a sharp knife, slices his wrists open, and mutters "Lay me down and bleed a while, and ne'er up again."

The second man asks for his revolver, says "For God and Country!" and shoots himself in the head.

The last man asks for a fork, and stabs himself repeatedly screaming "Fuck your canoe!"

I would like to combine a Bowie song lyric/title and a business involving cakes and flowers but I am really bad at puns. If I could get some help that would be awesome. I mostly would like the pun to revolve around cake, but if it could include that and flowers that would be amazing.

Also awesome: David Bowie song titles/lyrics that are already applicable (i.e. "Sweet Thing")

I'm super awful at puns so any and all attempts are much appreciated!

Two astronomers are watching the world revolve around the sun. After 24 hours they get tired and decide to call it a day.

So my sister does this thing called NoPoo so she doesn't wash her hair when she showers and does some weird thing to make it healthier than when you would use shampoo.

Anyway, the joke revolves around the remedy name, NoPoo.

Dad: So how does this work

Sister: Well it makes it so I don't have to wash my hair and makes my hair healthier

Me: So you're Shampoostipated

My dad laughed out loud and my sisters groaned.

We were talking at the dinner table, and my sister mentioned the ALS ice bucket challenges, stating I wouldn't have seen it as I don't use facebook. I retorted with that, had she ever paid attention in class, she would know that the world revolves around the sun, not facebook. Dad pipes up with:

Scientics watched the sun go around the world, and around, and around, and around, and they called it a day.

On October 23 (6.02x10^23) in my chem class we celebrate mole day. You have to make a project revolving around a mole pun. This year I did MoleDemort and printed a life size Voldemort with a mole head, but I'm out of ideas for Chem 2 AP next year. Want to get ideas early on, any suggestions? Some examples already taken that I don't want to repeat: Darth Mole Moleverine

I will add more as I remember, or if you come up with one that's already done.

Thanks in advance.

I told her, “You’ll come around eventually.”

Eventually she came around.

But I'm their son

But I'm their son

Eventually she came around.

Wife: "Why would you say that?"

Me: "She's our daughter; not our Sun."

I guess that means I’m not actually their sun...

Because he said the world revolves around him

I told my wife "the world doesn't revolve around our daughter".

She asked "why?"

"Because she's our daughter, not our sun."