I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...

It went in one ear and out of the other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Danger Noodle pun *hisssss* 🐍
πŸ‘︎ 213
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesDesign11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I was looking for danger but I couldn't find any.

Turns out safety search was on.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jubulus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I bought a book about the dangers of deforestation.

The first page says, β€œYou’re not helping!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
For sale: Book titled "The Dangers of Materialism"

Β£150

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of karaoke after singing β€œDanger Zone” nine times in a row.

Too many Loggins attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Warned my son about the dangers of drugs today. Told him a story about a girl I knew who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time. Surprised, he asked, "Really?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely true."

"She became a little spore addict."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:

'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnexampledSalt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My drunk friend was kicked out of Karaoke for singing β€œDanger Zone” 7 times in a row.

He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a skeleton's favorite type of danger?

Grave danger.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Urine Danger
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FutureTheFuture
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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What do the US president's bodyguards say to him when he's in danger?

"Donald, duck!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pvtsoab
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.

"Sense us."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Watch out! r/puns is in danger

r/punpatrol

r/punKGB

r/Pun_Internal_Affairs

r/punspecialforces

These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.

If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!

They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt

##VIVA LA R/PUNS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyThunderStorm22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to karaoke last night. I sang Danger Zone five times, but they wouldn’t let me do it for a sixth time.

They said I had to many Loggins attempts.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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How do electricians warn each other about dangers on the job?

"Careful: this mega hurts"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuto193
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
When I told my girlfriend of the dangers of overtweezing...

She razed her eyebrows.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I just realised, that when you say someone is in grave danger...

...it’s because they’re going to die.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zmelk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Where's the danger?

What is the biggest danger during a thrift store fire?

Secondhand smoke.

Thank you. I will gladly accept all the goodwill you wish to impart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was talking about the dangers of the web with my son. He says, β€œDon’t worry dad, I know all about the dark web!”

I then asked him, β€œWell how do you get there? I’ve tried turning off the lights and everything.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iconic-oofs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
DANGER. DANGER.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rdm_box
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2014
🚨︎ report
I got booted off stage at a Karaoke bar. I was trying to sing 'Danger Zone' from that Top Gun movie. I forgot the lyrics three times.

They said I exceeded my Loggins attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I just published a book on The Dangers of Overreacting.

If you guys don’t buy it, I’ll burn everything down.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
People who robbed the tombs of Pharos really put themselves in grave danger.

I'm sure this has been said before but it just came to my mind.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jynx-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the guy that wrote Danger Zone had his identity stolen online? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calyph
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Did you hear the one about the brave bird that never flew from danger?

It was unflappable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Democrats claiming counterfeit Viagra out of China is a danger to our democracy.

Apparently, they are trying to influence our erections.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Disco_Ninjas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I know the dangers of lawnmowers first hand

Or should I say first foot?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I was in my backyard in the hot tub last night enjoying the views of the incoming lightning storm not thinking of the danger.

And then it struck me....

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the movie about the dangers of smoking?

It's called Hackers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DPRKSecretPolice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Caution you're in danger! ipfs.pics/QmacdBbdRsaAXbP…
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dachewie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
There should be a Network Television show to inform teens about the dangers of unprotected sex.

They can call it "Genital Hospital".

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a new hip hop group that raps about the dangers of psychedelic drugs

It's going to be called "Run-DMT"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_will_regreddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gusthedanger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
🚨︎ report
The Secret Service no longer yell "Get down" when the President is in danger...

They yell "Donald, duck!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoodafakizit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2017
🚨︎ report
So I was talking to my mom about the dangers of constipation

Me: You know, constipation has killed people.

Dad: Yeah, but those people just don't give a shit!

sigh

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
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Oliver was in danger...

A dad with his last son Oliver were in danger

Dad told Oliver to hide and then he told him

"I'll pick you up when it's oliver"

.

.

.

I'm actually sorry for that pun

I know it was terrible

I'll see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/murlockerLOL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
🚨︎ report
I tried to warn my now deceased son about the dangers of Russian roulette...

It went in one ear and out of the other.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Great, just got kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone five times.

Apparently I exceeded the maximum number of attempted Loggins.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got kicked out of Karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row...

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone 5 times...

Apparently I exceeded the amount of Loggins attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kanatheapostate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I was kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing Highway To The Danger Zone 3 times in a row.

Too many Loggins attempts I guess.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone five times

I guess I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attemps.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sickspaq
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Just got kicked out of karaoke for singing Danger Zone three times in a row ...

... they said it was too many Loggins attempts.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hlipschitz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report

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