Long live Rudolph the red
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
What looks like red paint and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Dont hate me its cakeday
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︎ Jan 05 2021
I red a book about colors...
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Red hot chili pepper weight
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it away a now.
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Rudolph the Red knows rain dear
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Roses are Red, Violets Are Red...
...I set your garden on fire.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Nobody wanted to buy my Red Hot Chili Peppers cd.
I have to give it away now
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π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Hi Red Squiggly Line, I'm Dad!
Child: Dad, can I rely on autocorrect?
Me: Definately
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π
︎ Jan 22 2021
Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife.
"How could you possibly know that?" She asked.
He simply replied,
"Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
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π
︎ Dec 20 2020
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What does a white hat dropped into the Red Sea become?
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Did you hear about the red-haired elf in the baking dept. at the North Pole?
Heβs a gingerbread man.
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 21 2020
I love a good build up
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
What's red and bad for your teeth?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 14 2020
My partner turned 40 today so I gave him some red, red wine and told him
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 16 2020
My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.
"What was the other reindeer's name?"
"Um, Dasher?"
No."
"Dancer?"
"No. Olive."
"Olive?"
"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."
I was very proud.
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 04 2020
A stormtrooper and a red shirt get into a fight
Despite not receiving a single hit, the red shirt died.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What do Red Lobster shrimp and a car dealership have in common?
Theyβve both been detailed
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.
Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Canβt wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if thereβs wife on Mars.
π︎ 61
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Which red is the hardest to see?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 08 2020
If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released
π︎ 29
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?
Itβs a non-prophet organization.
π︎ 139
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What is black, white and red all over?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 02 2020
A joke about communism isnβt funny unless...
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
Whatβs the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Oct 25 2020
What's green and smells like red paint?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 10 2021
A Viking named Rudolph the Red
One night a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, βItβs going to rain.β
His wife asked, βHow do you know?β
He said, βBecause Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.β
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π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Whatβs red and bad for your teeth?
π︎ 63
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︎ Nov 07 2020
What is blue and smells like red paint
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Whatβs blue and smells like red paint
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 22 2020
why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 29 2020
What's red and smells like blue paint??
π︎ 40
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What's red and smells like blue paint?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 13 2020
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.
He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Whatβs red and bad for your teeth?
π︎ 35
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︎ Oct 23 2020
What's blue and smells like red paint?
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 24 2020
A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said
βIt looks like itβs going to rainβ his wife said how do you know?
He replied βRudolph the Red knows rain, dear....
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 06 2020
One Night a Viking named Rudolph the Red told his wife, Itβs going to Rain...she asked how he knew...
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear
(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
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