But you'd never be able to grasp it.
To get to the Otherside.
I guess he'll be looking for the rebel bass
Doesn't that means every country is a third world country
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
I saw on the news today that the Red Hot Chili Peppers are getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of fame.
I hope they don’t just Give it away, give it away, give it away now.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡I said, only if they’re givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away now.
My dad asked me if I brought any fleas back with me.
Just a Red Hot Chili Peppers album
Scart issue.
They're calling it the Flea Market
We're having a jam session.
It's themed is great pointallist painters. Name: Seurat-cha.
In the car with dad listening to music when California by the red hot chili peppers comes on.
Dad: Who sings this?
Me: Red hot chili peppers
Dad: Well they sound a lot better than the spice girls.
Me: God dammit Dad.
A red hot poker.
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now.
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
I have to give it away now
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it away a now.
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now...
Give it a weigh, give a weigh, give it a weigh now...
But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
she told me "give it away, give it away, give it away NOW" !
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
...but I can't even finish drinking the hot bath...
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
Give it a weigh, give a weigh, give it a weigh now!!
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
To get to the Otherside
Because she helps them give it away, give it away, give it away now.
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
You give it a weigh
So it wouldn't fall in the hot cocoa.
Bonus:
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? It works!!!
