Radio Commercial Puns

When we have special promotions, I can make a commercial on the radio that says "don't take this shale for granite!"

We were listening to the radio when a commercial came on for an event called "Golf for Autism." She turns to me and says, "well that's a shitty prize!"

Dad and I were listening to the radio and a commercial for Windows comes on that says: "call now for a free quote!" To which my dad replies, "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country".  Then he started laughing out loud. It took me a minute but finally realized what in the world he was talking about.

Heard this on a radio commercial.

Beer nuts are just under a dollar, deer nuts are just under a buck.

Listening to the radio in the car. American Family insurance commercial comes on. Kid says something about a pirate ship.

Dad- do you know why I got a pirate ship? Me - ...why? Dad- it looks good in my yaaaaard