I've got all my knitting for the year done and I might even turn a profit!
Maybe I should quilt while I'm ahead.
If you do things one more time , it will become profitable
A charity that provides flatbread to the hungry …
… is a naan-profit organization.
I heard you made a business that profits off the confusion of your customers? How successful is it?
Not very. It makes cents.
My father is in jail for fraud. He lured investors in his jokes and pays profits to earlier investors with funds from more recent investors.
Yes, it's a Punzi Scheme.
What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.
My buddy and I used to be Marijuana dealers and we always split our profits evenly between us.
Farmer milks his profits from cows
Which one of King Arthur’s knights was looking for Merlin?
Sir-ching.
(As soon as I typed the punchline I realized how bad it looks written out. Is this okay, or should I delete?)
I've started buying restaurants and reselling them for a profit
Diabetes medication has a profit margin close to 1000%
Now that's just Insul(t)in'
Dad you don’t make any sense.
You’re right, I make dollars.
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Which industry makes the most significant portion of its profits through a cash cow?
Why are all convents non-profit organizations?
Because nun of them are in it for the money.
My street light fixing business closed two months after it opened because it was not profitable
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.
What do you call it when a psychic charges for their services?
A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.
His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.
Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits.
I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean
Why are churches non-profit organizations?
All they do is talk about Jesus, you think they would be for-prophet.
What was Apple's most profitable iPhone?
Jumping for profit
Dad: [pointing up at tall trees] “See those trees?
Kid: “yeah?”
Dad: “How much will you give me if I take off my shoes and jump over them?”
Kid: [looking up at the trees] “There’s no way! A billion dollars!!!”
Dad: [takes off shoes, puts them on the ground in front of him, jumps over shoes] “Pay up!”
Why isn't the candle factory more profitable?
Because they only make a few scents
Edit: reworded by request
A month ago I was kidnapped because my husband is a wealthy landowner. It turns out, all the kidnappers wanted was one of his quarries. It's a very profitable quarry, to be sure, but still.
Now I know what it feels like to be taken for granite.
Have you heard about the new non-profit public service droid?
A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months
They had a great piss-cal year
Why did the Indian bakery get audited?
They incorrectly filed as a naan-profit.
Eddy Grant has started a very profitable energy provider for homes
Have you seen his Electric Revenue?
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low profit margins.
Our local bakery is profiting so much.
Only because they're all about the dough.
A financial analyst is a profit prophet
How hospitals profit
Dad: Patience is a virtue, especially for Hospitals, that’s how they make their money
Me: OH MY GOD!
My father told me this joke while I was in the ER.
After some brainstorming, I think I picked a really great name for my band: Lost Profits
Female monasteries are nun-profit.
Diet programs can be very profitable.
They appeal to a very wide audience.
Growing marijuana and raising cattle simultaneously is pretty risky but can be very profitable
It’s a high steaks business model
If you're a successful web designer, every margin is a profit margin
A local cake factory was just robbed
They took a huge slice of the profits
Your Indian restaurant is naan profit?
My Vietnamese is pho profit.
Most Indian restaurants are naan profit.
Most Indian restaurants are naan profit.
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