Life Pro Tip ~ Don't ever put ducks in a cement mixer because…
You'll get quacks in the pavement!
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...
That took a lot of balls.
Someone asked me if I'm pro-life, and I said
"Nah, I'm only amateur life. I need to reincarnate a few more times before I can go pro."
Unethical Life Pro Tip: Put nicotine in your fishing bait
Once you catch a fish, it'll be hooked.
Some people are pro-life, others are pro-choice. As an English teacher however....
I am pro-verb
All people now n days are pro life this and pro jared that
Where are the pro gamers
Why do Pro-life people hate these guys so much?
Sea life returning favors is Squid Pro Quo
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
Women should not have babies after 40.
That's too many babies.
My wife really knows how to hold a grudge, she asked for a tube of lip balm and I accidentally gave her a tub of glue
She still isn’t talking to me
PS. This is a cross post from r/ShittyLifeProTips
