My private pun collection
What do you call a lady's private parts made from sugar, butter and chocolate?
The sergeant asked the private to 'stand up straight'.
The private said, "That's a tall order, sir."
I’m not sure why people refer to women’s privates as a flower
I’ve finally decided to shave my private area.
I need to stop beating around the bush.
The Norse god of mischief only had private birthday parties.
He kept things pretty low key.
How do you fix Beyoncé's private plane
Why did the Army private's ghost possess an Officer?
He wanted to appear in Corporeal form!
Sorry, my confile is in private
My British friend has started getting his son private tutoring
I can't imagine how much money he must be shilling out.
Due to COVID, the King of Spain is in quarantine primarily aboard his private jet.
The reign in Spain stays mainly in the plane!
I’m thinking about sending my mailing labels to private school.
Hopefully they can learn to apply themselves.
A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
My brother has a pilot's licence but only for private flights. So, he put ads all over his plane.
I've been getting into a lot of trouble at school recently, so my dad asked to have a word in private
He turned to me and said, "Parwiovradte."
What would you call Donald Duck if he became a private investigator?
What's the difference between a Stalker and a Private Investigator?
The Private Investigator get's paid, and the stalker is pursuing his passion.
I got my own private jet
The rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my wife.
Phone rings.......Dad: What does the Caller ID say?......Son: It says Private Caller......
Dad: Don't answer it. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
Wife: "Let's keep her name private until she's born."
"I think that I prefer the name 'corporal', instead."
I do have my own private jet
But my mum still owns the rest of the jacuzzi.
What do you call a girl who thinks with her private parts?
Seniors in private schools
Are part of the upper class
What does a private investigator call a short investigation?
As a private investigator, I'm pursuing a con man by tracing his stream of impoverished victims...
Yes, he left a pauper trail.
With only a fraction of my wealth I could buy a private jet
That fraction would have to be
8000001/2
I quit my job as a private driver today
After 25 years I had nothing to show-for it.
The doctors have moved me from a private room, to a stall with hay and water.
They are trying to stable-ize me.
My private part is as hard as iron today...
... does this make me FE-male?
If a private investigator is called a private eye, what do you call a pirate investigator?
A privateer.
(It's one to hold on to for September 19th!)
A sergeant of the Australian army yells at a private....
"PRIVATE, DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE?"
The private responds: "NO SIR! I came here yesterday!"
My doctor shut down his private practice...
I guess he just didn't have the patients for it.
I tried to hire a crocodile private eye wearing a sleeveless jacket.
But I couldn't find one so I got an in-vest-a-gator instead.
Why was the private detective obsessed with tracking litterers?
As an American army private during WWII, how did my great-uncle fight in the Battle of the Bulge...
What does Oliver Queen call his private jet?
When I was heading to a private place to dance
When my girlfriend and I was climbing up several stories in an apartment to go to our spot to practice dancing, I complained that it'd be easier to just practice on the first floor.
Her: I don't want to, we'd get so many stares!
Me: We can't possibly get any more stairs than here.
I tell myself that she thinks I'm cool every time
The instructor of an IT course I took at a private college told this one.
"What do you call someone else's cheese? Nacho cheese!"
This elicited a few chuckles.
"Kay...So..."
I realised I was the only one who laughed at this.
I have my own private jet
But the rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my mother.
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