I was in a food fight at school & accidentally hit the principal with a stale cafeteria bun...

...the jerk had me charged; assault with a breadly weapon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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The Prime Minister of NZ's kid gets sick at school.. What does the Principal decide?

Jacinda home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoreysCaveChatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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The woman in charge of our local primary school has decided to resign.

She wants to quit while she's a head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Told my kid "Go to the Principal's Office!"

I then changed into a suit and tie and came in and said "so, tell me why you're here today..."

Homeschool is tough work....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shortbusaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Why was the chicken sent to the principles office?

He was caught using fowl language.

(I came up with this, but I'm sure it's been done before)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkunzler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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How to catch an elephant. A story by my dad which got me a walk to the Principal's office in 2nd grade

Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.

To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.

And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!

Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGoodLordsTaint
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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A student visits the principal’s office one day and the principal says to him, β€œWhat’s your name, son?” He replies, β€œD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The principal looks up and asks him, β€œOh, do you have a stutter?”

The student replies, β€œNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Why did the little rectangle get sent to the principal's office?

He said a square word

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrNova121
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Principal: Sorry to call you in, but your son set the school on fire.

Parents: Arson?

Principal: Yes, your son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berniemax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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The principal is so dumb!

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aliasad1122
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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I’m the principal of a school called St.Richard

So I guess you could say I’m the dickhead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAm_Unsure
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Why dont eagles and eels breed?

Because its eeleagle.

πŸ‘︎ 729
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlobbyChong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman

Snowballs

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memerman09
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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I had to have talk with the principal over my policy of giving no A's on my tests.

"Mr. Smith, if you want to keep your job as the grammar teacher, you need to start teaching the ENTIRE alphabet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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I'm done with banks

They have lost my interest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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A principal in Nebraska banned candy canes because the "J" symbolizes "Jesus".

He mint well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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[Request] I need a tasteful pun about retirement for a principal of a school. Anyone got any?
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
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People who drop out of school have no principals or class.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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I pour my root beer into a square cup.

Now it's just beer.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanzaniteflame
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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Got my vice principal today.

My friends and I were arm wrestling at lunch, we get around 3 matches in when our vice principal came in and told us we had to stop. We ask why and I say it's because we're not allowed to be armed at school. The vice principal walks away and my friends laugh their asses off. Today was a good day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungryfox77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.

I can also tell when they're standing.

EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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Will Smith do so?

Will Smith's property (150 acres) is larger than Vatican City (110 acres). Therefore, if he were to do so, it would not be the smallest country.

That day would be known as independence day.

The country would be a Fresh Principality.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReal_BlueBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Running a Mayan school must have been difficult

After all you had to make sure the kids didn't sacrifice their principals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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What happens when a politician takes a viagra?

They get taller!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psybud16
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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Okay this isn't a typical Dad Joke but it's a dad joke.

So this just happened.

My dad walked into my room, said "So you think you can take on your old man," doing an exaggerated impression of a bad lip sync, threw a toy throwing star at me, and left. I have no further explanation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatoticNeutral
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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BadBoyBridge

A bridge went to bridge school and did something wrong, he was called into the principals office, the principal then said "you're suspended"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Senior_Artichoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Our headmaster wanted to be our friend

He said: "Dont you know in every principal there's a pal"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/albae3333
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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Did you hear about the man with a passion for accounting?

Finance was his principal interest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2013
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I can't find any evidence of this pun after some searches...(OC?)

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- Yeah, but it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingwickednc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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Joke my teacher used to say when yelling at a student: "You're outstanding."

"Now you're out standing in the principal's office."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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I have been dadjoking since I can remember, preparing for the day I'm a dad, but I just got dadjoked by wife

My wife leaves a ton of hairs in the bathtub and forgets to pick them up. I call her on it.

Her: "well, you're in the bathroom now, pick them up."

Me: "no. You always do it. It's the principal of it."

Her: "no it's not the principal 'cause they haven't gone to school."

ΰ² _ΰ²  i couldn't stoo laughing for about 5 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toastyparty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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Im a principal of a school called St. Richards

So I guess you could say Im the dickhead

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Penguin-of_Doom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I'm the principal of a school called st richards

I guess you could said I'm the dickhead

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RetroGamer10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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I can't find any evidence of this pun after some searches... (OC?)

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- But it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingwickednc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
🚨︎ report

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