What do you call an ostrich that practices magic?

An ostwitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sure_Dave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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My girlfriend and I were walking around on Halloween when we saw a dog dressed as a wizard from harry potter, without missing a beat I leaned over and said:

I wonder if that wizard practices Bark Magic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stephenlucky7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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The dad in you is strong

Son: We’re in Walgreens so Mal can get eye drops and some girl goes, β€œAre you finding everything okay?” So I pull a dad and go, β€œYou guys have β€˜everything’? Where’s your Meaning Of Life?”

She calmly responded, β€œYou won’t find that in Vegas.”

Dad: It's "I wasnt looking for everything". But your quip was fair. You need more practice. Keep trying.

Son: No kids yet, so I can’t channel the arcane magic

Dad: You will always carry your inner dad. The dad is strong with you my young dadawan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuzamatterforyou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Sort of an edited repost?

Elmer Fudd is sitting around one day and realized he's not all that good at hunting, might as well take up a new hobby. Obviously he turns to magic/slight of hand. After a few months of practicing, his arms are COVERED in chocolate. Bugs comes up and asks him, "Say doc, what's with all the chocolate?" To which Elmer replies, "You know what they say, a good magician ALWAYS has a few Twix up his sweeves."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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