I’ve been posting a lot of chemistry jokes lately and they’ve gotten good reactions. I thought I was in my element and could go on forever with them but it’s time for someone else to step up and post some periodically.
I can’t zinc of any more.
Just came up with a dadjoke but I’m too afraid to post…
Because you probably have Redd-it already.
My grandad held up a post office once.
He didn’t have a gun, he’s just really chatty.
my buddy came up with a banger and I had to post it here. super contextual, but among the best I've seen in the wild
Came up with this one a while ago but not enough Karma to post here, till now.
I was at a function and a guy at our table was talking about fixing up an old truck. He said he was going to replace the muffler first. I chimed in...
Don't do that first... you'll be too exhausted to do the anything else
Got teed up by a post on r/wine: 'What's the best wine to drink in a thunderstorm?'
Me: 'Vintage port, preferably a Taylor's 1985'
Commenter: ''And should it be drunk when wearing one's Rolex or one's Omega?'*
Me: 'Ok, fine, any port in a storm will do.'
*Taylor's 1985 is an expensive port, but OP asked for the best, not the most reasonable: https://imgur.com/a/QtdpTzL
I'm charged up to post this
A clown opened up my post today
I wonder if this post will blow up as quickly as my car did the other night. 🙃
This may not be the place to post this but I’m heartbroken that my girl broke up with me due to her hallucinations.
We’d be the only people in a room and she’d tell me that she’s seeing somebody else.
I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning
I had to call a toe truck
On a post about a washed up whale. This person SEAS the opportunity and they take it!
Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
This post brightens up my day
A nuclear power plant put up a new sign outside that read, "Post your positive reviews of us on social media!"
They were just fission for compliments.
The 90's summed up in one picture [x-post /r/notinteresting]
I've been trying to come up with something to post here...
...but I can't think of any good PUNchlines.
Are you eggcited for the yolking around, but because it's my first post here, I'm walking on eggshells about posting this, I just hope it says up because the title is eggstremely long.
Yeah, somethings up with this post
I wouldn't say this is the greatest but it's up there. AskReddit post top answer, link in comments.
(cross post) I tried to come up with a pun for flour and sugar but I forgot.
I'll have to sift through my mind to find it.
Police brutality post ends up in a charged debate.
A post on Uplifting news about a Girl who Picked up a Pick-Up truck (link to article in comments)
My roommate made this one up (she doesn't know how to post)
What did the doctor say to the man who refused stitches? ... "Suture self"
any thoughts?
"My dad asked me to mock up his new "rocking" chair idea." (x-post from /r/gifs)
My boss set me up with the perfect pun! [x-post /r/dadjokes]
He told us his little son (1 year old) had a great big poo in his toybox and there's shit all over the abacus.
"Bet you didn't count on that!" said I, proudly!
Had a friend loading up those large poster-sized post-it notes for a meeting...
Told him he should stick with it.
Don't move! You're getting mugged!! (x-post /r/VoteItUp)
My niece got me with this a year ago, it came up on an "On This Day" post in FB yesterday.
I'm a deaf man and I communicate via a combination of American Sign Language and English spoken language. My niece and I were sitting at a restaurant enjoying ourselves when she looks at me and signs, "I'm so glad I know sign language. It's really handy!"
I actually facepalmed on this one for the second time when it came up in my newsfeed yesterday. I'm such a proud uncle.
Had to get up out of bed to post this one, I think I'm ready to be a father.
Something fell off the bed and I was curious what it was.
Me: What was that?
Wife: Ugh I kneed my phone off of the bed.
Me: Why do you need your phone off of the bed?
[x-post /r/funny] my Dad decided to dress up the dog and stage a picture for Facebook
http://i.imgur.com/FfF1hYX.jpg
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
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