What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

*insert laugh track here*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Froxaii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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How many stars do you want ?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justlooking250
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbizzlebev
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomG93
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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My dad always used to say the same thing everytime we ate at a restaurant when on vacation.

When the waiter asks "Are you finished?" "No, we're swedish."...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KinpatsuNoHito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2015
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Dad joked by control systems prof

When asked why he always wears a checkered shirt he replied "I like to wear grid patterns so I always look like I'm plotting something"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComicSansofTime
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Dads working together.

I work with another dad, and all day we trade off dad jokes cracking each other up. This one is from yesterday

Paul (the other dad) was asking about a new fixture we had at work. it was explained it was a highly sensitive camera used to test the polarity of magnets. I then came around the corner and Paul wanted to tell me about it.

Paul: "This is a new thing from Ancestry.com. I can stand by it and it will tell me what percentage Polish I am"

Me: Wow, although I have a similar thing right inside of me. My stomach can tell me how Hungry I am!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kendred13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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