Dawn of the Planet of the Snapes (x-post from /r/battleshops)
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes soundtrack is prodigiously punny! (X-post from /r/movies, thought you guys would appreciate) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daw…
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aznednacni
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
🚨︎ report
What is the slogan of Radio Antarctica?

The Coolest Radio on the Planet

(this pun was inspired by sadly finding out there is no radio in Antarctica according to: http://radio.garden/live )

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
🚨︎ report
How do astronauts make sure their mission goes smoothly?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 577
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2022
🚨︎ report
I planned on making a joke about the Solar System…..

But not right now, I’ll planet later.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2022
🚨︎ report
If the scientists throw a party, the chemists bring the booze, the engineer sets up a beer pong table, and the botanist brings the weed. What does the astronomer do?

Planet

πŸ‘︎ 274
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ppardee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party?

Planet.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoPerfectDad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
🚨︎ report
Was on FaceTime with my wife and she was showing me how she was roasting garlic in the oven

My 10y/o walks into the frame, leans down to the garlic now sitting on the cook top and says β€œYo mama is so fat she plays pool with the planets!” Then looks dead ass at the phone and says β€œHey Dad, I just roasted the garlic too!” I’m so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drunkgolfer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2021
🚨︎ report
If you think snails would be faster without the shell, you're wrong...

They would just be more sluggish.

- credit: Narrator from BBC - Round Planet - Oceans

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vedvikra
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about making a trip to space

I'm just starting to planet

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattnich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Elon Musk had to cancel his New Years Eve party on Mars?

Apparently he didn’t have enough time to planet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/modxplus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
🚨︎ report
How does Nasa organise their parties?

They "planet"...

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists recently discovered that there is no gravity.

This planet just sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/livesquared
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Nasa is having a Pluto party.

They didn’t even planet.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lars4463
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My mother asked father how she looked in her new dress

Father said her dress made her look like a planet. Mother, angry, asked if it made her look big? Father, quick on his feet, replied it's because it made her look out of this world.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kablaaw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Anti-Earth

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 light-years from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony on the way."

They had been driving for a couple of minutes when the recruit saw glowing buildings far away.

"Why are the buildings shining like that?", he asked.

"Didn't they brief you about the colony?", the driver asked "We don't call it Anti-Earth for no reason, it's literally the opposite of Earth. Any element rare on Earth is as common as carbon (C) here, and interestingly carbon (C) doesn't occur naturally here. So we had to make good of what we had, the buildings are made of rare metals like radium (Ra) which glow in the dark."

After half an hour they arrived at what seemed the main highway, the road had a faint bluish glow and the sides were lined with metallic posts shining faintly in the double moonlight. They stopped near a small dilapidated shack with the words "COMMUNICATION OFFICE" crudely etched on the walls.

"This is your office. You are supposed to handle communications for the colony," the driver said. "We can't use any wireless communication as the high amount of radioactive gases in the atmosphere interferes with the signal, so we have to use a type of telegraph instead. Come on, I'll show you our most important resource."

They walked a bit till they reached a plantation full of bizarre trees. Some were made of precious metals, some of common earth metals and some of them were glowing radioactively.

"This is the plantation for building the posts. We brought these seeds from Earth and planted them, apparently as they couldn't get the conventional elements they just used what the soil contained. We just sell the gold (Au), silver (Ag) and platinum (Pt) trees to Earth, the iron (Fe) and aluminium (Al) are used for constructing equipment and there are some pretty rare elements like uranium (U) and astatine (At) (which is the rarest element on Earth) which are used for scientific research. However, these aren't what we are here for."

The driver motioned him to follow him towards a small area of trees with a silvery sheen to them.

"These are made of rhenium (Re) one of the densest elements with one of the highest melting and boiling points. It is strong enough to withstand the toxic atmosphere and radioa

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flwthewhiterabbit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Pluto walks into a pharmacy...

And asks for height growth tablets, since it doesn't want to remain a dwarf planet anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SiD_-_-_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Planets align

Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into a bar.

But they didn’t planet.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Danglarsdanglers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Don't abbreviate Your Anus

It'll turn into a planet

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/97th69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the first step in making a solar system?

You gotta planet

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Pluto has asked not to plan the solar system party this year

It just doesn’t like to planet

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jzagri
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the uprising at the international space station?

it was a revolution around the whole planet.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a party in space?

Planet. And when the guests arrive, rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomecorearts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
How do astronomers organize a party?

They planet.

(Yeah. I saturn one of their meetings, so I know)

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you hold a party in space?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Proud-Lead2404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you prepare for a space party?

Planet

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrownFuz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2021
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organise a party ?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skilled_stupid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you host a party in space?

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rottingpotatoes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organize a space party?

You planet ;)

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2021
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organize a party?

They planet!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ginger_gorgon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organize a space party ?

You Planet

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RJ2123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a space party?

Planet

πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skeledrummer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organize a party in space?

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorddoodleflaps84
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How does Nasa organize a party?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 528
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/opum123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you throw a party in space

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Otacon56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams & Bruno Mars met in a bar...

But they didn't planet that way.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ixz72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you throw a party in space?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/___statik
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn't planet.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you have a party in space?

Planet

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VadersWrathh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organize a SPACE PARTY?

Planet

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a party in space

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fox1984
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn’t planet.

πŸ‘︎ 572
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organise a party?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/single_clone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you have a party in Space??

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 427
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yuri-123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you have a party in space

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you host a space party?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nchiladas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.