Their words, not mine.
He was busted for pandemic dishonesty.
They went to jail because de stijl.
But they only take credit.
And that's what I call commady
Here's another 20 of the most popular dad jokes, geared for emergency situations where you quickly need a good dad joke.
- Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage. - I invented a new word!
Plagiarism. - What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything. - What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye matey. - How does a rabbi make his coffee?
Hebrews it. - Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.” - What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. - How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it. - Two artists had an art contest.
It ended in a draw. - What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking! I’m changing! - I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I am slowly getting over it. - Rest in peace to boiling water.
You will be mist. - What’s Forest Gump’s password?
1Forest1. - What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar. - What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad. - Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. - How do you throw a space party?
You planet. - A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.” - Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
All of the fans left. - What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
NB: I curated these from a much longer list that was published by Reader's Digest, which is also why you see many of these appear regularly in this sub.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one.
So she gave me a hug.
Actually, never mind. You won't get the references.
I would have never thought to get in trouble for a word that I invented :(
But those are their words, not mine.
"Call It Magic" Said the band
Their words, not mine
They thought I was stealing songs, but I was just taking notes.
As a tribute, Reddit r/Jokes will be quarantined for 24 hours.
getting in trouble for what someone else did.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
He's in real treble now.
And then I saw her face
It was a cite to behold.
I got in trouble for something I didn’t do.
A dead man woking
It was a copybook
She had 2 sons, a daughter, and a ladder.
I don’t mind having the step kids, but I hate that step ladder.
Plaguerism- the Read Death
He used an apastafee.
A shovel
Their words, not mine.
I call it plagiarism.
Their words, not mine
But those are their words, not mine.
That's their words, not mine.
But those were their words, not mine.
It's called plagiarism
I call it, plagiarism.
