Those patties made of chickpeas and spices are supposed to be healthy.

But whenever I make them I felafel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
So I heard that due to Coronavirus, Ireland is cancelling St. Patty's celebrations...

They're trying to stop the infection from Dublin.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leparr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Whattdya call a bullet proof Irishman ??????

Rick O'Shea !!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bythewater9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a coworker ask "How many burgers does a cow make?"

I look him dead in the eyes and reply, stonefaced

"None. Thier hooves can't form patties."

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_Mustache
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How dit the butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the hamburger introduce his wife?

Meet Patty

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad if he could fry some potatoes, flour, and egg in a shallow patty for me...

He said that's a latke ask for!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I was cooking burgers with my friend Nicky when I flipped one up high and hit him with it, just below the chin...

It was a Nick neck patty whack.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prexzan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a commander in Mcdonalds army?

A patty officer

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prophet-five
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We are standing at Depoe Bay, Oregon watching the whales. I point at a bird (ironically), β€œlook Patty, a seagull!” My wife replies, β€œno, it’s a bagel.” β€œWhy is it a bagel?” β€œBecause it’s over the BAY!” That’s pretty funny, but...

The thing is she didn’t just make up this joke, but this is the first time I’ve heard it. We’ve been married for 18 years. That means that she’s been waiting for 18 years until we were near the ocean, at a bay, waiting for a seagull to fly over. The dad joke is above average, but statistically speaking, she has my respect 100%.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MahonriWY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cold beef patty?

A brrger!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Treemaster099
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Tic Tacs are introduced to peppermint patties?

Mints meet.

(credit to my actual dad for this joke)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeaccount
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all summer?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 322
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/perpetualbarista
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Veggie Patty refuse to cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GracefulSlumber
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Today, my dad asked me if I could help him build his paver patio. He said if I couldn’t help, he would ask an Irish guy he knows.

Patty O’Paver.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A frog walks into a bank for a loan.

All he has for collateral is a ceramic statue. The loan officer, Patty Black, is unsure of what to do so she consults with her supervisor; "Oh fine", he says. "It's a knick knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Kids, I'm telling you, burgers are ALWAYS female, and I'll prove it to you

let me introduce you to my burger... *drumroll*

Meet patty

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
One day, Kermit the Frog was a little short on cash, so he went to the bank to speak to a loan officer...

When he got there, a woman extended her hand.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"

Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."

They walked over to her desk and sat down.

"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"

"Oh, just call me Kermit."

"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"

"Ten thousand dollars."

Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.

"Do you have any references?"

"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."

Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...

"THE Keith Richards?"

"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."

"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"

"Excuse me?"

"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."

"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."

Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.

"What's this?"

"It's a Hummel."

"A what?"

"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."

She picked up the Hummel and stood up.

"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."

"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"

So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.

"Patricia! What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."

Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.

"I don't see anything out of order here."

"But, Mr. Wilson--"

"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Most definitely stolen and a repost but sharing anyway. imgur.com/28438Sk
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Phoenix95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What is Irish and sits in the back yard?

Patty O'Furniture..

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lavacadotoast
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A frog walked into a bank...

... and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone".

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mellon_coliee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you strike a cow with a snow globe?

A Knick-nack patty whack

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irishman on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VapidPastiche
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Shared a dadjoke from this subreddit with my dad and he dadjoked it up even more.

Me: How did the butcher introduce his wife? Me: Meet Pattie! Dad: Meat my wife Dad: She's a cut above the rest

Here's a link to the text convo:

http://imgur.com/GU30U1Q

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xosir
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
🚨︎ report
So a frog walks into a bank

So a frog walks into a bank, and up to one of the tellers, a young woman by the name of Patricia Wakk. He says to her, he says, β€œMiss Wakk, my name is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and I’d like to take out a loan. I make porcelain elephants,” he says, pulling one out from his pocket, β€œand I’d like to open a store down on Main Street selling them. I just need a few thousand dollars to buy the shop. Can you help me out?”

Now, Patricia doesn’t normally deal in small business loans, so she’s unsure on the proper protocol involved, so she calls over her manager and explains the situation to him, explaining Kermit’s family ties and showing him the elephant, to which her manager replies,

β€œIt’s a knick-nack, Patty Wakk, give the frog a loan! His old man’s a rolling stone.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and sits on your porch?

Patio Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kekesupreme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Irish and sits on the porch all day?

Patty O'Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayItToMeSANTOS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Kermit the frog went to the bank to get a mortgage for a new lilypad. He walked up to the desk of loan officer Patricia Whack and placed a small porcelain statue of an angel on her desk asking if she would take it as collateral. "What is that?" she asked...

It's a knick knack, patty whack. Give a frog a loan?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/curmudge_john
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chappo_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a hamburger introduce his wife?

Meet patty

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BasementTenant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his girlfriend?

"Meat Patty"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Firefighterbard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/britterzl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet pattie

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/d4r2ag0n
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 798
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrspencernorth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Pattie

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swinging_chippy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Everyone, meat Patty

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastrwill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all winter?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jrfine52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you introduce a hamburger?

β€œmeet patty”

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blueboy9120
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

β€œMeat Patty.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A frog goes into a bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saveitforthedisco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

β€œMeet Patty.”

πŸ‘︎ 417
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamfinefettle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What's Irish and sits by the pool all day?

Patty O'Furniture ☘️

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PussyWhistle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.