A list of puns related to "Patriarchical"
A Fleeced Na'Vi Dad.
The head of the wealthy Guttheim family was concerned about his oldest son who was an irredeemable punster. No matter the setting he would use the opportunity to make really terrible puns. The troubled patriarch decided to hold an intervention.
He called members of the large and prominent family in from all over the world: Europe, Africa, Latin America, the US, the Far East.
They sat the wayward young man down and one by one they begged him to change his ways.
The son listened to what everyone said without comment, but when the representative from the Cuban side of the family spoke, the boy suddenly stood up.
For the first time expressing genuine emotion, he reached out his hand imploringly and sang:
Don't stop me now...Cousin Havana Guttheim...
...I've got it down to a sigh-ence.
He was a silverbach.
Because in every man there is a little part of themself that is prostate.
Hey! Trying to find ideas for a title for an animation on zeus being a shitty father. if you guys think of anything please let me know, my reddit muses! <3
Father: "So, how does it feel being a dad?"
Son: "It feels good. I'm a bit scared of course, but so excited at the same time. How does it feel being a grandfather?"
Father: "It feels pretty great. You've always been a good son and I've been patiently waiting for this special moment. There's something now that I have to give you."
The son watches curiously as his father pulls a large tome out of his backpack with exquisite text on the cover: 'The Big Book of Dad Jokes'.
Father: " For generations these sacred texts have been passed down through the patriarchs of our family. My father gave it to me when you were born and now, as a new father yourself, I bestow it to you. With this book you will have all the knowledge needed to become a truly great Dad."
Son: " Wow, Dad, this is amazing! Truly! I'm... I'm honored."
The father smiles as he extends his arm out to shake his son's hand and says,
"Nice to meet you, Honored. I'm Dad."
I deliver pizza for a living and I showed up at the door, as is my wont, with one hand holding the pizza bag and the other holding the receipt. On opening the door, I greeted the pater familia and told him the amount I was owed. He gave me the money and I handed him the receipt so I could free up my hands to pull the pizza out of the bag, saying offhandedly, "Here you go," indicating the receipt. The patriarch then looked at the menu bemusedly and remarked, "Hmm, seems a little light." It took me a little to figure out the joke was supposed to be that he thought the menu accompanying the receipt was the entire delivery.
On noticing my delayed reaction, the daughter of the house proceeded to put her hand to her face in a manner not unlike our dear Snoo at the top of this page. I've been delivering for two years now--that was easily the lamest, most Dad-like joke I have ever come across.
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