Paralyzing Puns

A list of puns related to "Paralyzing"

A guy was paralyzed

He's okay but still...

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👤︎ u/NameSyrname
📅︎ Nov 03 2020
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What do you call a paralyzed zoo keeper's bathing suit?

A zoo-kini

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👤︎ u/Foreverlord777
📅︎ Jan 20 2020
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A paralyzed man in a wheelchair is handed a CD copy of "Inbetween Days."

So he stands up and just walks away.

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👤︎ u/zigbigidorlu
📅︎ Feb 05 2020
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My father had a stroke last night. While he was in his bed in the ER with slurred speech and half his face paralyzed, the nurse comes in and asks, "So, what brings you here tonight?"

"The ambulance", he says.

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👤︎ u/BigPapiC-Dog
📅︎ Apr 17 2018
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What do you can 2 false statements that are so bad they stun you?

Paralyze (pair of lies)

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👤︎ u/TwoDimensionalCube83
📅︎ Nov 03 2020
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Grandma had a stroke yesterday and paralyze her left side, but....

She'll be alright

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👤︎ u/joe2u2
📅︎ Mar 30 2019
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My pet iguana is paralyzed. It doesn't get up anymore.

It has ereptile dysfunction

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👤︎ u/KenzoEngineer
📅︎ May 20 2019
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What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair?

Sushi roll.

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👤︎ u/lethal_penguin
📅︎ May 22 2020
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I was recently paralyzed in an accident. When a friend asked how I’d reacted initially I simply said

I didn’t really know how to feel

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👤︎ u/jackslapppp
📅︎ Sep 03 2018
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What has four legs but cannot walk?

A paralyzed bear.

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👤︎ u/DJDiehl2K
📅︎ Jun 26 2018
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Couldn't give a sh!t

I'm out for breakfast with my S.O. who is a nurse and her family. She's telling us about her patient.

S.O. - He had a paralyzed bowel.

Her Dad - He didn't give a shit.

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👤︎ u/runningwithsizers
📅︎ Feb 09 2014
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So my dad just laid this one on me and started howling with laughter...

A man gets into a very serious car accident on the highway and has to be rushed to the hospital. After he comes to, he is told that his whole left side is paralyzed and likely won't ever work again. To this the man said "well doctor, how am i supposed to live?" to which the doctor replied "don't worry sir, you'll be All Right."

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👤︎ u/Shredswithwheat
📅︎ Aug 22 2013
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