Paradoxes Puns

It has been proposed that an ox may never birth a conjoined twin

But if it did it would be a Paired Ox.

Because it would be a paradox.

Today I learned that it was two doctors....

Paradox!

It's a good thing too, because i had nowhere to put my pair of boats

Dad: "When there's two doctors in a room."

A paradox.

My dad looked at me and said "If you have two boats, you also need a paradox."

Me: This movie is based around a paradox. Mom: A book? Me: No. Do you know what a paradox is? Dad: A surgeon and a general practitioner.

You best sleep with one eye open dad.

http://i.imgur.com/H1qMTm6.jpg

I guess I saw a paradox.

I was telling my dad how I put the small TARDIS he got me for Christmas inside of a big TARDIS I bought a while ago and how I created a Paradox. He then pointed out that if each of the TARDISs had a Doctor in it, it really would be a "Pair-A-Docs"

"Dad you just created a paradox" "If twins became doctors they'd be a paradox"

cringes

My boss was shuffling through files and paperwork with a look of remorse. "I never get to see my kids," he uttered with a sigh. "because I don't have any."

because two of them together would be a paradox.

Yes, it's a paradox

providing context cause it caught me off guard which made it more funny.

Bro: If Pinocchio said his nose is about to grow, would it grow or would it not grow?

Me: I don’t know, you’ve created a paradox.

Bro: I created two doctors?

pier pressure

You never see it because it would be a pair o' docs. (Paradox)

My dad and I were watching Terminator 2 and talking about time paradoxes and he said "paradox, what's is that like for 2 boats?"

Because if you had two it would be a paradox.

Now I paradoxically have less on my plate

A paradox

Paradox

Yesterday I was trying to explain the birthday paradox to my dad, which states that in a group of 23 people, there's a 50% chance of two of them having the same birthday.

Me: "the reason why two people probably have the same birthday is really complicated math."

Dad: "I already know why."

Me: "oh? Why?"

Dad: "because they were born on the same day."

1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
12. PARADOX Two physicians
13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
17. RUBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
20. PARADIGMS 20 cents

He said, "Should we try the Paradox Grille?"

"No," I replied. "I would rather eat at the Two Doctors Grille."

Paid him back after all of these years!!!

A paradox.

If you freeze it, then it's paradoxicle

A student asked me what a paradox is.

I said to go to a lake and find two docks, that is a paradox.

Silence followed.

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

12. PARADOX: Two physicians

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official