He always had a nasty sinus inflection.
Nice Venn diagram of surface markers in this NATURE report https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-16788-2
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
Origin
After the splintering of the Emperorβs Children Legion into Warbands, the warriors who would come to be known as the Rosethorn Knights wandered the fringes of Imperial territory, raiding and pillaging any sufficiently defenceless worlds for resources and slaves. They eventually came across Arcadium, a Slaanesh-corrupted planet where the population tended to massive fields of thorny, crimson roses. They were welcomed into Arcadium as great champions, with days-long parades and bountiful feasts of sweet flesh to appease their cravings. Once the festivities came to an end, they were led into a great temple of the Dark Prince, from where they emerged in their current form.
Appearance
A member of the Rosethorn Knights is distinguished by two main traits; their smooth, unblemished flesh, white as marble, and their armour, which is covered in the black-stemmed, thorny crimson flowers of Arcadium. They are beautiful to the eye, though in a disquieting manner, their features too perfect, their proportions impossibly even. The roses which cover them actually grow from their bodies, and constantly emit a sweet, intoxicating perfume which heightens the senses, and transforms even excruciating pain into rapturous carnal joy. These strange flowers originate from Slaaneshβs realm in the Immaterium, and quickly spread wherever the Knights set foot, turning the landscape around them into a swaying, bloodthirsty garden.
They still carry the Palatine Aquila on their shoulders, although itβs usually the only part of their armour which looks weathered and unkempt, and itβs barely visible under the plant life enveloping their bodies.
Leadership
The Knights, since their original landing on Arcadium, have been led by one Horatio Firenze, Lord of Blades, Violet Heart, The Silvermane. Infamous for his skills with a curved sword, and his strikingly beautiful armour, with a surface adorned by undulating silver patterns. His silvery white curls are kept hidden beneath a helmet with a placid expression, as are his solid black eyes. He habitually poisons his scimitar, Laughter, with toxins distilled from the roses sprouting from his flesh. Said poison is designed to instil violent, bone-cracking muscle twitching in his victims, whose minds become clouded with an overload of pleasurable sensations even as they tear themselves apart.
Many have attempted to challenge Horatioβs leadership in honourable combat, and all have paid with their lives for their insolen
... keep reading on reddit β‘I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Theyβre on standbi
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
It was about a weak back.
Why
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Rosethorn Knights
Origin
After the splintering of the Emperorβs Children Legion into Warbands, the warriors who would come to be known as the Rosethorn Knights wandered the fringes of Imperial territory, raiding and pillaging any sufficiently defenceless worlds for resources and slaves. They eventually came across Arcadium, a Slaanesh-corrupted planet where the population tended to massive fields of thorny, crimson roses. They were welcomed into Arcadium as great champions, with days-long parades and bountiful feasts of sweet flesh to appease their cravings. Once the festivities came to an end, they were led into a great temple of the Dark Prince, from where they emerged in their current form.
Appearance
A member of the Rosethorn Knights is distinguished by two main traits; their smooth, unblemished flesh, white as marble, and their armour, which is covered in the black-stemmed, thorny crimson flowers of Arcadium. They are beautiful to the eye, though in a disquieting manner, their features too perfect, their proportions impossibly even. The roses which cover them actually grow from their bodies, and constantly emit a sweet, intoxicating perfume which heightens the senses, and transforms even excruciating pain into rapturous carnal joy. These strange flowers originate from Slaaneshβs realm in the Immaterium, and quickly spread wherever the Knights set foot, turning the landscape around them into a swaying, bloodthirsty garden.
They still carry the Palatine Aquila on their shoulders, although itβs usually the only part of their armour which looks weathered and unkempt, and itβs barely visible under the plant life enveloping their bodies.
Leadership
The Knights, since their original landing on Arcadium, have been led by one Horatio Firenze, Lord of Blades, Violet Heart, The Silvermane. Infamous for his skills with a curved sword, and his strikingly beautiful armour, with a surface adorned by undulating silver patterns. His silvery white curls are kept hidden beneath a plumed, platinum helmet with a placid expression, as are his solid black eyes. He habitually poisons his scimitar, Laughter, with toxins distilled from the roses sprouting from his flesh. Said poison is designed to instil violent, bone-cracking muscle twitching in his victims, whose minds become clouded with an overload of pleasurable sensations even as they tear themselves apart.
Many have attempted to challenge Horatioβs leadership in honourable combat, and all have
... keep reading on reddit β‘