Open Marriage Jealousy Puns

I am in a newly open marriage with my Bi Husband. Married for 16 years, came out to me as Bi maybe 3 years ago. Opened up our marriage several months ago. We are both open to have extra things on the side. I struggle with jealousy while He doesn’t. I also live the BDSM lifestyle and am just looking for anyone that might be in a similar dynamic to talk with.

Our marriage has been open for about a year. In the past she has been discreet over her partners and I appreciated that because it's not something I wanted to know about. IDK what she was thinking this time, but she literally bought her partner into our house..maybe this is my fault because I didn't explicitly state that I didn't want her to bring others to our house but I kind of expected that to be an unwritten rule. I literally went home from work at a time she knows that I always come home at, only for me to walk into the living room seeing this guy and her having sex. They did not even hear me until through the shock said "hey wife...." and told the guy he should probably leave. It's been quite between us since then but she has tried to open a dialogue with me. I don't even know what I'm going to say. I am feeling jealous, insecure, self conscious, sad, and I can't get the image of his massive penis inside her out of my head. WTF do I do? I can't deal with this...

Where to start, we’ve been together 12 years and married for 7. Our relationship has always been very strong, and our love for each has never dipped since we first feel in love. We’ve also got a 5 year old son. Overall we’re a very happy family.

I’m sure with most of you who’re (or have been) in long term relationships know how things in the bedroom can dip for long periods of time, and a lot of the time it’s just that the sex is unexciting and very predictable. Also add the daily life into things and I’m sure you’ll understand how few and far between you even get to have too.

May-June 2016 we made a pack that we were going to put more focus on our sex life and make it fun/exciting again. We tried all sorts of things, dressing up, different positions, toys, etc. And although they were fun we just eventually found our way back to our old routine. Through researching together we stumbled upon the idea of open marriages and we went down the rabbit hole together. Before reading many articles/couples in open marriages online, we both always just assumed it was for polygamous people and that it had to be emotionally open/have secondary partners.

Hopefully that gives you a idea how it all started, and that it was very mutual. And it wasn’t one of us coercing the other. To skip all the rest quickly, we talked about it manny times over the next couple of months, we decided to open up our marriage. The rule are simple, it’s only open sexually, we don’t get to decide who the other person sleeps with (but not anyone we know/friends with), we tell each other everything, and we don’t go on actual dates with people, we only have “dates” to make ourselves comfortable with our potential sex partner first.

We opened our marriage in November 2016, but neither of us even attempts anything until after New Years. In that period our sex life exploded with excitement. Just the thought of is both having the freedom to sleep with other people made us both very hot and heavy.

Now the problem.

In may 2017 I had my first “date” with a very handsome man I met while working out. We got chatting, he made some slightly awkward flirty comments about how luck my husband is and in the heat of the moment I jumped and told him I’m in a open marriage. When I told my husband he took it great. It was like a ceremony almost, like cutting the ribbon on our open marriage. We met up, felt very nervous, a lot of awkward conversation, and boom I’m in a hotel room with sleeping with anothe

Hi there!

I tried to do several combinations in the search but nothing came up to what I'm looking for. Most of recommendations has the FMC as the mistress, but I want to FMC to be the wife.

I want:

• Arranged marriage or marriage of convenience
• FMC and MMC didn't know each other personally before, so started out indifferent (enemies to lovers is OK too)
• MMC already has a mistress before marriage and he still keep the mistress even afterwards, at least early on. BUT he doesn't love the mistress, just... purely physical or to satisfy his needs or 'just friends' dynamics? Very clear that MMC doesn't love the mistress
• FMC/heroine is like okay or accepting at the situation at first because having mistress is common for noblemen, but is becoming jealous (angst here pls!)
• MMC has his reasons not to open up or love the heroine at first (angst here pls!) He wants to, but something is holding him back (maybe he's a private person, doesn't want to fall in love, cold, miscommunication, thinks that FMC hates or afraid of him, thinks that FMC is in love with someone else, whatever, can be any reason really)

If the mistress thing is hard to find... Ok with the whole indifferent to lovers/enemies to lover arranged marriage, all I ask is lots of angst.

Give me your magic please, reddit 🥺

My wife and I have been married for four years. And we dated for a year before getting married.

I will say this my wife and I have been opposites when it comes to interests and hobbies. She is far more into partying and drinking, while I am far more of an introverted guy. Don't get me wrong we have a supporting and loving relationship but it has been a point of tension. Because often we want to different things.

My wife has pushed a good bit for an open relationship. She told me that an open marriage would allow us to both have the safety and security of having someone that loves each other and being able to see other people. For me I really was against this for once, I worried about my ability to find someone.

I never did too great with women, and I guess for me I work pretty long hours so it is not like I have time to really date either. But my wife really wanted me to at least try it.

We started four months back and it has been rough. My wife was initially sweet to me that I was open to it, but once she started sleeping with other guys she became cold.

She started to become cold. When I would try to make a move ever, she would get annoyed. A lot of times I would come home after work and she will be gone and I have to go to bed alone. And honestly it really rubs me the wrong way. I am the breadwinner by far, and it irks me that while I am working hard to provide us the lifestyle we have she is banging another guy.

I guess for me it hurts more because I haven't had much luck. I consider myself average looking, and when I got on Tinder I would get barely any matches. First I was selective, and didn't have much luck then I tried swiping on everyone, not any luck and then only on unattractive women and still was having no luck.

My wife tells me a lot of my complaints about her behavior is because I am not finding anyone. But she says once I find someone I will feel better. The comment she said that has really fucked with me the most is when she turned me down for sex, and she said the reason was because she was too sore down there. It really puts a bad image in my head, and it hurts even more because that was never a problem in our sex life.

I feel like my wife treats me like a stranger. When we are watching TV together, she will giggle when she receives texts and when I look to see what it is she hides it from me. We only have sex once a week and I think she only does that to keep me happy. She has laughed on the phone to her sister that I

Kind of a rant but please throw in your 2 cents. I am fine with our open marriage until suddenly I am not and snap: becoming angry, judgemental, storming out. Then I'm back to being fine. My wife is very honest and open and I have a history of avoiding confrontation. We are best friends: have worked together, lived in a 400 sq ft cabin for 2 years, only have one other real friend. In a typical trend I suggested opening up, and then [surprise] she was much more successful in finding sex partners. I felt inadequate. She said she feels like I am trying to scuttle our relationship, because I say I am ok with an open marriage and then act like a jerk. Essentially I am being selfish and controlling and want to be the center of attention. I would hate for those aspects of my personality to dictate such a huge aspect of my life. I have created this narrative that opening our marriage ruined our happy home. I felt we have a strong relationship, but I guess when tested my ability to communicate and trust are fairly superficial.

Some other random facts: *When we first got together in college she had a boyfriend and I was their friend/roommate. We slept together and then I became the boyfriend. *I am jealous of the physical affection she shows our one friend (he lived with us for awhile, she made out with him a bit) *I haven't met any of her other partners (they are all single guys who aren't expressly poly) *We love to party, dance, and drink

My wife is F/49, I'm F/24. We've been married for five months, but we've been in a relationship for three years. She is the first (and only) woman in my life. At the beginning of our relationship, she said to me, that she has two major kinks, younger women and Asian girls, and luckily I am both. I know, this may sound racist, but I'm totally ok with it. People have their preferences and I'm happy to meet hers.

I know, how dumb it sounds, but my problem is that she is a doctor -a real ace in her field-, and she is surrounded by young Asian medical students all the time when she is at work - which is of course much more than when she is at home. She is into young Asian girls and they are younger than me, more Asian - I'm adopted, so... you know, banana issues -, and they will be doctors, like my wife, while I'm only a bartender. I’ve tried to talk to her about this several times, but I think my jealousy only fuels her arrogance, which is one of her main traits anyway. It’s not the bad kind of arrogance, she’s just proud like successful people in general, but she likes to tease about my jealousy and I think, I deserve it.

So, what do you think, on a scale of ten, how stupid my jealousy is? I'm jealous because I'm getting older in an age gap relationship, where I'm the younger, it is not normal, right? Does anyone else have this problem besides me?

Hi my bf ( 26M ) and I (27F ) have been talking about an open relationship. His idea and I have always wanted to be in one . The only different now is that he only wants it because there is this coworker who has been flirting with him . He finds her attractive and assures me that it's just a sexual attraction.

Before the open relationship conversation was brought up . I met this coworker . I had a feeling about her cuz she wouldn't really make eye contact with me . I thought that was odd but my gut told me something was up.

So he wants an open relationship now so he can sleep with her. Unfortunately , I really don't want him sleeping with her. He could be with anyone, but i have a problem with him sleeping with her. I have no idea why. Just the thought of him sleeping with her really bothers me. I told him that I would love to open our relationship but this girl has to be off limits cuz it just bothers me way too much. He got really upset and disappointed. He said he would be jealous when I find someone to sleep with too and it's something we need to push pass. The only thing is that I know this person. The next guy I sleep with will be a stranger too me and him . I met her and I just don't like her being around him. I guess cuz she reminds me of myself. We are very similar woman. I was hoping he would understand where I was coming from . Im trying to be okay with the fact that he wants to sleep with her. It's just been such a struggle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My wife and I have been poly for about 2 years now, we are kitchen table poly and it's amazing 85% of the time. We love eachothers partners, all get along, all in all we are a giant family.

My wife doesn't see her boyfriend much, he works out of state but then sometimes he gets a few days off.

Those days he is at our house. It's great sometimes, then the jealousy kicks in. I see how my wife and him are affectionate, lovey and what not, I try to give them alone time too. What I get jealous of is that my wife and I are never able to have a block of time like that. With working opposite shifts, kids and what not it never really happens.

My wife and I have had arguments where I would voice my jealousy. Once I voice it, I realize how dumb and controlling I sound. I make it seem like I'm owed time or that she is "mine". Which is never the actual case.

The other day we were all out of town after he's been with us for a few days, I was expecting my wife to come home with me . Then something with his wife happened and he was upset. She decided to stay and comfort him. Knowing what kind of person my wife is and understanding her feelings, I knew she wanted to stay for him. It just really really hurt emotionally.

On the way home, she apologized and said she was going to make it up to me, but I allowed my emotions get the best of me and I said alot of things I shouldn't of said. I let the feelings win. I understood what was going on. If roles were switched she would of understood. I just felt hurt, angry and jealous.

I spiraled out of control and was very ugly to her and him.

I was yelling, threatened divorce, all the things you shouldn't do when your upset. The worst part this isn't the 1st time I've done this.

Once the spiral was done and the damage was seen, I know what I need to do to change. Controlling the emotions and jealousy is hard.

It's to the point where my wife's boyfriend won't be over for a few weeks, my wife and I are taking a "marriage time out." So we can work on this and hopefully fix it.

I know I have a lot to fix. I know what needs to be done. I love the poly life we have, I truly do.

So I’m in an open relationship and I have quite intense feelings of jealousy of my partner with potential other girls. I know I don’t want a relationship because I’m not properly ready for one. Should I bring up how I’m feeling even if I can’t think of a solution for it? I don’t want him to change anything because he’s technically not doing anything wrong and I don’t want to seem controlling and scare him off aaah idkkkk

Self explanatory, I guess. New to these things and someone I fell in love with wants to be in an open relationship. It’s currently an LDR and though promises and assurances were made that he chooses me over anyone, he’s also currently with someone else. Help? DMs are open too.

Does anyone else increasingly more jealous when their partner talks to anyone else when going through PMDD? I've never doubted my husband's love and commitment until hell week comes. He's been talking to work friends a lot more and it just makes me feel left out. Like he'd rather be with them than me because I'm such a monster during this time. There's some girls at his work as well and he's added them and everyone else on social media. It just makes me really insecure and paranoid even though my logic knows better.

I haven't said anything to him about it either because I don't want to sound crazy. I just don't know how to deal with these emotions. It stays bottled in my head and is driving me insane.

My last serious relationship, the guy I was engaged to, was VERY jealous. I couldn’t watch a tv show or movie with an attractive guy on it because he would take that and assume I wanted to sleep with the guy. We couldn’t go to Wal Mart without leaving in a fight because some guy walked past us. This went on for 4 years before I finally left. I wasn’t in a serious relationship until my marriage. Now I’m married and I’m afraid that some of those old habits are starting to come out from my learned . My husband looks at other women who are attractive. I know it’s natural for guys to look at natural woman, it’s in their nature, but I notice it and it makes me feel insecure because I’m sitting right there. I ask him not to when I’m right there, and he always claims he’s looking at something else. How do I get over this bad behavior? I trust him and I know he wouldn’t do anything, but it bothers me. I need help to just let it go. He’s not the jealous type and he said it wouldn’t bother him if I checked out other guys, but it feels wrong and disrespectful so I don’t. Help me please.

Basically what the title says. Im 34F, hes 40M. We've been dating for 2 years.

We met on a dating app. He was legally still married when we met, but had been separated and was in the dating scene for a over a year. Looking back, I wish we had met further down the road so that I would be less inclined to question now if he had enough time to get over the divorce, but can't change that. We moved in together 6 months ago.

I just can't stop feeling a constant ping of jealousy about his marriage. When we moved in together, I ended up moving in to his house that he previously shared with this woman. She took her stuff obviously, but there's still small tokens of their relationship around. I find some of her clothes almost every time I do laundry. Found an old Christmas card with a photo of them on it in a drawer. Accidentally found a photo album of their wedding pictures in a closet, including a love note he wrote her.

Could I have ignored most of these things? Probably. But I don't. I find myself soaking them in and feeling really jealous.

He's uninterested in getting married again. He put me in his will and made me his life insurance beneficiary, but has said that having gone through a first wedding, he doesn't want to do that again. I agreed that this was fine, I've seriously never thought about having a wedding. The idea sounds horrible, I get really awful social anxiety, and I dont have any family to invite, and no friends that live locally. But when I see his wedding pictures, just seeing him smiling big and looking so handsome in a nice suit, in professional photos. It makes me realize I've never seen him in a suit. I barely even see him with pants on, especially since over half of our relationship has been spent in a pandemic. We've talked about his first wedding before, he said during the divorce his ex-wife told him she resented him for being really awkward on their wedding day and ruining it, but the pictures look so pleasant.

How can I stop feeling this way? Its gotten way worse since I moved in to this house, and keep seeing pictures of his former life where he looks so happy.

Pretty much what the title says. I am wondering if you need to either be that kind of person who does not get jealous easily, or "trained" to not be jealous anymore or if you even dealt with it while being open or poly.

Like people have very different characters so I think not all of you here never had issues with this.

I respect poly people, y'all are alright but it seems lately the more toxic members of the community keep coming forth and trying to pressure people into trying it.

I've seen so many posts of people talking about how uncomfortable they are with their partner asking for threesomes/open relationships or marriages/etc and the amount of poly people trying to make them seem crazy for being upset is absolute shit. Some people are naturally monogamous, some people are polygamous. It's not alright for the monogamous one to be pressured into a polygamous relationship if they're uncomfortable with it.

Edit:

Just to be clear the whole point of this post is literally stating

"People should stay in their lanes."

I'm not saying actual polygamous people are bad. I'm not saying monogamy is what everyone should follow. Y'all can do what you want as long as everyone is consenting and on board with it. But respect what someone else believes.

Hello! Using a throwaway just in case. I (F23) have been struggling with the fact that my primary partner (F24) of almost a year (don't like the term, but it works for now) is married. I don't doubt our relationship - it's the first one I've felt very secure in, but knowing if things work out long term that I won't be able to marry her feels kind of... sad. I can't tell if it's the fact that marriage is ingrained in me because of societal pressures or something else. Her wife (F27) is interested in me as well, and we've all discussed a triad arrangement once I move in with them, but I still have to contend with this sense of jealousy or feeling like I can be more easily pushed out because I'm never going to be legally bound to either of them. I've had this discussion with my primary before, but I'm still struggling with the adjustment and the sense of inadequacy, and it worries me. This is also my first poly relationship, and other than this feeling, it's gone very well and is an excellent fit for all of us. I know this post is a bit of a mess, but does anyone have any suggestions or advice? Thanks in advance!

Married 10 years. Our relationship is international, meaning we're from different countries and have lived in different countries around the world together including her country and my own because of my work. We both speak each-other’s native languages fluently. We have 3 year old twins together. Since having kids, our sex life steadily declined. In the last year, we have had vaginal sex 2 times. Oral only a few times. Last year wasn't much better. She is rarely affectionate with me. I have never cheated, although she often accused me early in our relationship.

For most of our 10 years, she didn't work or only briefly. When she did, it was jobs I found for her. I full on created a well-paid career for her that she started 5 months ago - this is the longest she has worked. Even when I was off work for a period of time on disability leave for a neurological condition a few years into our marriage, years before we had kids and we spiraled deeper into debt she didn't look for work. I earned money while mostly bedridden with a side-business when I had energy. Since recovery, I continued a successful career, got us out of debt, travelled the world, etc. Not rich, but comfortable.

I found out recently that she has been texting an ex-bf for months at least. She would message him and immediately delete her message and replies. I caught her doing something similar probably with someone else 18 months before and have long suspected - especially when she travelled to another city with a 'girlfriend' when we lived in another country and she called his number there. That was 8 years ago. She said nothing happened, just visited an 'old friend' while there. The call was at 2am.

They call one another 'baby'. One day I was home from work with a migraine and I saw her sending messages to him offering to send him medicine for his headache - ignoring me. She went back to her hometown to visit family for a week during a national holiday and saw him during this time. I was left home with our children. I saw her messages that she was planning to see him there. She claims they didn't have sex. I don't believe her. I don't believe her because she lies and only admits the details I tell her I have specific proof of.

I don't believe her because I'd confronted her that I wasn't comfortable with her having secret conversations with an ex-bf that she's constantly deleting. She told me that sometimes he messages her, but she usually ignores it. That I might get the wrong idea, s

Hey All,

I wanted to start a thread about jealousy in open relationships. I’m in a place with my marriage where jealousy has become a major issue for me. We have been open since the beginning, and so far it hasn’t posed a problem. My husband and I freely enjoy ourselves sexually. But recently he has made a friend with someone who he is connecting with on a level I haven’t seen before. They talk every day, they share deep intimate parts of themselves, and are starting to hang out more frequently. I feel I am losing my husband to this man, as it is happening very fast. While they haven’t had sex yet, they have now breeches that topic and are planning to do so after discussing their personal boundaries. We have discussed it, he assures me this is no more than a dear and close friend with whom he has a sexual abd emotional connection, but despite the reassurance, I can’t help but crumble inside at the mention of his name or when they are texting. I am beside myself with grief over this relationship my husband is pursuing, and my jealousy has gotten so bad I can barely do anything else in my days. I need to find a way to first handle the jealousy healthfully, and also find a way to make this work for him. This man is not going anywhere, and my husband deserves to be happy, but at what cost to me? Does anyone have advice or resources I can look to? The pressure this has caused is unbearable. Thank you so much 😘

I have to say, I'm jealous of everybody who says they brought up the "open marriage" thing with their SO, even if you ended up being turned down. I know for an absolute fact that were I to even mention it, it'd be a one-way ticket to divorce city.

Does anybody else feel that the mere mention of anything like that would be interpreted by their SO as effectively "wanting to cheat"?

Genuinely curious. This may be a stupid question but I can’t believe that if a big named celeb sleeps around it can seriously be hidden ... who they are sleeping with? Aren’t they scared of leaks/proofs/people talking and finding out.

In light of the recent blind Dp - ranveer have open marriage Alia - ranbir i think also have open relationship Who else do you think have this sort of an arrangement ? Vickat ? Virushkha? Pc/nick ? Srk/gauri Kajol/ajay Twinkle/akshay Abishek/aishwarya Amitabh/jaya Sussane/HRK

Where to start, we’ve been together 12 years and married for 7. Our relationship has always been very strong, and our love for each has never dipped since we first feel in love. We’ve also got a 5 year old son. Overall we’re a very happy family.

I’m sure with most of you who’re (or have been) in long term relationships know how things in the bedroom can dip for long periods of time, and a lot of the time it’s just that the sex is unexciting and very predictable. Also add the daily life into things and I’m sure you’ll understand how few and far between you even get to have too.

May-June 2016 we made a pack that we were going to put more focus on our sex life and make it fun/exciting again. We tried all sorts of things, dressing up, different positions, toys, etc. And although they were fun we just eventually found our way back to our old routine. Through researching together we stumbled upon the idea of open marriages and we went down the rabbit hole together. Before reading many articles/couples in open marriages online, we both always just assumed it was for polygamous people and that it had to be emotionally open/have secondary partners.

Hopefully that gives you a idea how it all started, and that it was very mutual. And it wasn’t one of us coercing the other. To skip all the rest quickly, we talked about it manny times over the next couple of months, we decided to open up our marriage. The rule are simple, it’s only open sexually, we don’t get to decide who the other person sleeps with (but not anyone we know/friends with), we tell each other everything, and we don’t go on actual dates with people, we only have “dates” to make ourselves comfortable with our potential sex partner first.

We opened our marriage in November 2016, but neither of us even attempts anything until after New Years. In that period our sex life exploded with excitement. Just the thought of is both having the freedom to sleep with other people made us both very hot and heavy.

Now the problem.

In may 2017 I had my first “date” with a very handsome man I met while working out. We got chatting, he made some slightly awkward flirty comments about how luck my husband is and in the heat of the moment I jumped and told him I’m in a open marriage. When I told my husband he took it great. It was like a ceremony almost, like cutting the ribbon on our open marriage. We met up, felt very nervous, a lot of awkward conversation, and boom I’m in a hotel room with sleeping with anothe

In a new relationship in which my partner has been open and honest from the beginning that they were seeing me and another person. Our relationship developed very quickly and we are committed to each other now, whereas my partner and the other person are still dating. I agreed for my partner and the other person to continue dating but it’s hard for me to stop feelings of jealousy and insecurity at times. I have met the other person and think they are a good person but still working through how to be more open and accepting of the relationship. I want this to work out and would like some advice on how others overcome jealousy or talk through this with their partner