Onon River Puns

I give you my list for the human fighters (the passing is not necessarily in this order, this is the order of how I selected them) :

1. Boudicca (Date of birth unknown - 60/61 AD) Celtic Queen

The queen of the Celtic Iceni tribe. After her husband's death to the hand of the Roman Empire and her humiliation to the hand of Emperor Claudius, she raised an army of over 230.000 warriors with many other tribes and was responsible for the death of over 80,000 Romans.

>!She died, maybe of suicide, after the battle of Watling Street when her army was beaten by the Romans, while heavily outnumbered, they had discipline and whiped the celts.!<

She was decribed as "very tall, in appearance most terrifying, in the glance of her eye most fierce, and her voice was harsh; a great mass of the tawniest hair fell to her hips; around her neck was a large golden necklace"

I imagine some kind of feral warrior for her, kind of like Lu Bü, especially when we take a look at her description by Dio Cassius, battling with a lance or a small sword and having an impressing aura.

Something interesting about her is the few number of sources about her : only two Roman historians : Dio Cassius and Tacitus, provide records of her. There is no grave, no monument, no representation, and some of their records are contradicting each other.

Her name also mean "Victory". There is also Boudicca from "The Victors Project", if you liked the Hunger Games books, you have to take a look at it.

Concept art of Boudicca

2. Vlad Țepeș of Wallachia (1428-31 - 1476/1477) Romanian Warlord

As a child, the young prince of Wallachia (in Romania) was sent as an hostage to the Ottoman Empire. After the fall of the Constantinople in 1453 he went back to his birthplace and took the throne by force. He mostly fought the Ottomans around 1462, escpecially during the "Night Attack at Târgoviște" where between 10,000 and 23,000 Turks were killed and impaled during one night. The numbers are variying but hundred of thousand of people died during his wars.

>!He was murdered between december 1476 and January 1477 under mysterious cirumstances, his head being sent to the sultan Mehmed II who impaled it as proof of his death!<

For his fight, maybe I am influenced by the Alucard of Hellsing but I imagine him as his Dracula form at the end of the serie. Also, if you watc

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved