I'm going the try a new part time online dating service for Chickens

I'm not trying to to turn it into a full time business, just trying to help make hens meet

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Sep 27 2022
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There's a new online meal kit delivery service made for Zombies

It's called HelloFlesh

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Sep 26 2022
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What online delivery service do monkeys use?

Amazon Primate

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Sep 19 2022
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My friend quit his job with an online taxi service.

He's exuberant.

👍︎ 83
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📅︎ May 30 2022
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You can now order human parts online, great and quick service

The seller was de-livered soon after my order

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/malhosainy
📅︎ Mar 19 2022
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I've started an online service that matches people with their favorite Southern foods

It's called eHominy.com

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Shu-di
📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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I once met a girl online with spotty service..

It was an on again-off again relationship..

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Mar 20 2021
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A man needs to hire someone to fix his broken fence.

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.

Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.

About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.

The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked.

The monk replied "religious reasons."

The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, but why do you need to repair fences?"

"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."

👍︎ 921
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👤︎ u/CJFates
📅︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Got Dad joked after paying my car tax

So I just paid my car tax online, and my dad asked if there was a timer saying "Processing" after I had entered my details. I said, "No, but I used a new beta service that's probably different to the old one." He said, "Oh, is that...beta than the old one?"

👍︎ 63
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📅︎ Aug 02 2014
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We are staying in a hotel forever.

We were at a hotel this weekend and my dad pulled this on my brother and me.

I was trying to get my phone online and as usual the hotel internet took me to their website. They had a cool thing wher you could order room service or an alarm or different stuff, including checking out from the room.

Me: "Cool you can check out from the room."

Dad: "I hope so, I don't want to live here forever."

I walked straight into that one, and then we all laughed.

👍︎ 25
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📅︎ Nov 17 2015
🚨︎ report
A man's fence is broken and he needs to hire someone to fix it.

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.

Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.

About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.

The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked

the monk replied "Religious reasons."

The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"

"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."

👍︎ 162
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
A man's fence is broken and he needs to hire someone to fix it

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.

Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.

About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.

The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked

the monk replied "Religious reasons."

The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"

"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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