A list of puns related to "One Year Old"
Because they don't have pockets.
5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
5yo: To get to the dummy's house.
Me:...
5yo:...
Me:...
5yo: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
5yo: The chicken.
What’s tofu made from?
Toes, fool!
To meet the chicken.
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
Neither has he...
A bone and arrow (Kid loves to play minecraft sooo... yeah)
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
1
Son: Dad...we need a net.
Me: Why?
Son: To catch our flight.
It wears flip FLOPS!
It's the traditional changing of the gourd.
Punchline
“Why?” she asked.
“Because that’s what makes it beautiful.”
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"
I've never been so proud.
I say nothing
Put a little boogie in it. Never been more proud
Little Booger: Why are trees green?
Me: Uh, I dunno. Why?
LB: For camouflage!
My daughter didnt know what an inside joke was. After I explained it to her, she then announces an outside joke must be "knock knock...."
Dad, do you know what an olive is? A sick grape.
Me: We need to put on our jackets because it's a little cold outside today.
Son after stepping outside: No Dad, it's a big cold
Who’s flying this thing?!
It was the right triangle.
Last Christmas, I gave Yamaha. But the very next day, U gave it a weigh.
I said to her after reading a reddit fact: do you know what a group of leemurs is called?
A conspiracy
My wife: do you know what a group of crows is called?
A murder.
10 year old from upstairs:
Do you know what a group of cars is called?
Traffic.
My wife fell out. I posted with full dad pride.
The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel..
So I told her 40.
An askhole.
I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.
I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.
We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.
I think he's going through a midlife crisis.
Because he felt crummy.
Wampa-jamas
PURRR-jamas!
She'll be a pro dad joke designer in no time. #prouddad
How did the rose plant grow? It rose
His other good one after some thought..
How does a tree escape? It leaves
I‘m proud of his thinking
Son: So, what do you want to be when you grow up...? Daughter : well, I think I want to stay a person...
Who's on the phone dad?
after a slight, recent issue of my kid putting her shoes on the wrong feet, she hits me with this...
"daddy, not like shoes, socks can go on either foot!"
"youve got it, honey"
i look down a few seconds later... both socks are on the same foot.
"you told me either foot was ok!" she laughed hysterically for minutes.
When asked the question, "What came first, the chicken or the egg" the boy stared out the window for a few and came back with...
"I don't know, dad, I can't crack that one."
He had no idea why I was laughing so hard.
"Coffee. Get it? Cough-ee."
Her: Dad, what's the opposite of a Pelican?
Me: I don't know, what?
Her: A Pelican't!
She was quite pleased with herself!
Papa New Guinea
BOOM! (followed by exploding rock hand gesture)
He wanted a pear for morning tea at school so I gave him one. This afternoon when I picked him up:
Me: "Tomorrow, do you want a pear for morning tea?"
7yo: "A pair of what?"
So proud right now.
Me after fixing his train track: "Are you happy"
Him: Giggles "No daddy I'm Connor!"
I feel like I am raising him well.
13: I need a new butt.
Me: what? Why?
13: mine has a crack in it.
While I was putting away the lawnmower right as the sun was setting.
"Daddy, good thing you mowed fast, or it would be dark!"
"That's right honey, I never could have finished if I moved in slow-mow"
My wife threw a tomato at me from the garden.
Frostbite!
An askhole.
I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.
I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.
We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.
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