An astronaut is making coffee onboard the ISS...

He turns to his crewmate and says: "Damn, I can't find any milk for my coffee."

The crewmate replies: "In space no one can, here use cream."

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👤︎ u/Riverlong
📅︎ Mar 03 2021
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Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..

You keeled my father. Prepare two die.

*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?

^(What a freaking professional)

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📅︎ Jan 05 2021
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Welcome onboard passengers; this is your captain speaking..

Today, we are all going to get high

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📅︎ May 02 2019
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I was hoping to buy a new car but I was after decent onboard storage so after the salesman specified lots of features about it, I asked "Cargo space?"

He replied "Car no do that, car no fly"

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📅︎ Mar 26 2018
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Did you hear about the cook onboard the USS Enterprise who spilled flour all over the galley?

He had a starch wreck.

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👤︎ u/justablur
📅︎ Apr 21 2016
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