Obsessiveness Puns

But will she leave me ?

Find out next week.

More on this after the break.

She said, “Yeah.”

I said, “I knew it!”

but, dam.

A lunar-tic.

Oh well, hind sight is 1.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

"You're a simp, son!"

..but I've already got that one.

But I loaf it just the white amount.

...I need to seek kelp for this addiction.

I have to draw the lime somewhere.

Me: Word, doc.

I wonder what she's up to now

I said we could table it for now.

It was a tender subject.

He kneaded it all the time.

It’s always eye, eye, eye.

Circuit Paul Dickhard

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

“Yes of course” replied Trevor

DON'T BE JELLY!

A ouib

It's only got one track, mind.

The irony is that I’m a Gemini.

It's like bark is all they can talk about!

and if I wear my robes to the wedding she’ll leave me at the Altaïr

It was organized crime.

As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.

He’s a cat-a-holic

And then I saw her face...

(Adapted from a youtube comment)

I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.

But in the end. It doesn't even matter.

Me: I’m only forty, love.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

He truly has a one track mind.

Because he just couldn’t Lego.

It literally Taurus apart.

Date: So, what do you do?

Me: * holds up menu * you just pick one from this picture book of meals.

Her: Yes

Me: I knew it!

More on this after the break.

I really need to draw the lime somewhere.

More on this after the break.

More on this after the break.

I wonder what she is up to now.

In the end it Taurus apart.

More on that after the break.