My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.

But will she leave me ?

Find out next week.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on this after the break.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, β€œYou are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren’t you?”

She said, β€œYeah.”

I said, β€œI knew it!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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I don’t know why Reddit is suddenly obsessed with beavers

but, dam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr-moron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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What do you call a man obsessed with the moon?

A lunar-tic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hercxjo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I think my wife is leaving me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.

Oh well, hind sight is 1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petertree
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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What did Homer say to Bart when Bart was getting too obsessed with a girl?

"You're a simp, son!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..

..but I've already got that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Button_FC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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My wife says I'm obsessed with bread.

But I loaf it just the white amount.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsMash29
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I have an obsession with staring at seaweed...

...I need to seek kelp for this addiction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I’m obsessed with sketching pictures of fruit, and I really think I should stop.

I have to draw the lime somewhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Physician: So you’re telling me that you have an obsession with a certain file type in Microsoft Office?

Me: Word, doc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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I left my wife because she was obsessed with counting

I wonder what she's up to now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wackyzebra43
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My girlfriend said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture

I said we could table it for now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoDeNguyen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I tried to talk to my daughter about her chicken nuggets obsession, it didn't go well.

It was a tender subject.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Did you hear about the baker who was obsessed with his bread?

He kneaded it all the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Optometrists can be so self obsessed

It’s always eye, eye, eye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaxsee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What does someone with a boner obsession call the French Grand Prix

Circuit Paul Dickhard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlfaRomeoFanatic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?

DON'T BE JELLY!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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What do you call someone who’s obsessed with French culture?

A ouib

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dovahjerk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I've recorded an album called 'Obsessed With Sex'.

It's only got one track, mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My girlfriend couldn’t stand my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.

The irony is that I’m a Gemini.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnsobenj
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Why are dogs so obsessed with trees?

It's like bark is all they can talk about!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilmoorman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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My fiancΓ© thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with assassins creed

and if I wear my robes to the wedding she’ll leave me at the AltaΓ―r

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glowcoma
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessive–compulsive disorder.

It was organized crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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When I was younger, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.

As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Some people love cats, other people hate them. The pope is obsessed with them....

He’s a cat-a-holic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Unfortunately, my wife left me recently because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face...

(Adapted from a youtube comment)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haston97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I have a friend who is obsessed with the Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel, and Black Widow.

I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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My wife left me because she said I have a Linken Park obsession

But in the end. It doesn't even matter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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Her: I’m done with you. You are way too old to be obsessed with being a tennis umpire!

Me: I’m only forty, love.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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My friend is obsessed with monorails.

He truly has a one track mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?

Because he just couldn’t Lego.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My wife left me last week because of my obsession with horoscopes.

It literally Taurus apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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*On a date*

Date: So, what do you do?

Me: * holds up menu * you just pick one from this picture book of meals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niyi_M
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
At the therapist’s office, I asked my wife, β€œYou are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, won’t you?”

Her: Yes

Me: I knew it!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on this after the break.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an unhealthy obsession with sketching pictures of fruit.

I really need to draw the lime somewhere.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 833
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

More on this after the break.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she is up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife couldn't cope with my obsession with horoscopes...

In the end it Taurus apart.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on that after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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