I decided to look for a new career!

The bank has my interest.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Animancer
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2022
🚨︎ report
My Greek friend invited me over to look at his new plant-filled fish tank.

It’s quite a nice Mediterrarium

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knux31781
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2022
🚨︎ report
A brand new calculator may look really cool. But just remember…

It’s what’s inside that counts.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rug__
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife called me into the kitchen to look at all of our new stock options.

There were chicken bones, beef bones and veggie ends.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
🚨︎ report
T-Rex: Look, honey... I think you should come to New York with me.

I can’t see you if you don’t move.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ha_ha_ha_ha_hah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife: I just got this new pair of glasses. How do I look?

Me: As always, I recommend using your eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
As much as I love Netflix, when I look at the presidents, I don't think orange is the new black.
πŸ‘︎ 604
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunter_Penguin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad came home with a new haircut and I said he didn't look like himself...

He responded: "Why are you telling me?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ozzenfeffer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa's adding another reindeer for a new look this year.

And he's sleighing it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/praisethelort
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Mario's new look
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Codyjames34526
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the new iPhone 11 Max look like a stove top?

Because Tim cooks

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickcinbigd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.

But I’m just grasping at straws here.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propagansus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I wonder what my new cat will look like?

Tabby... or not tabby... that is the question.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
For the past few weekends my wife has done nothing but drag me around to look at expensive new countertops

I'm tired of being taken for granite

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zembacraftworks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Take a look at the new apple car, they apologize for not using windows... imgur.com/X7Dg1yN
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i81potato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
🚨︎ report
The doctor walked into the room with a sad look on his face and handed me a new born baby

He told me β€œsorry your wife didn’t make it”

I then handed him the baby back and said β€œwell bring me the one my wife made”

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexbeltran43
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
🚨︎ report
A boy was sitting at home playing video games when suddenly his dad bursts in through the front door and says, β€œSon, look, check out my new AirPods!”

The boy looks at his father’s ears but sees nothing. β€œDad, there’s nothing there.”

β€œYeah I know, they’re literal!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majikin__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy rode up to me on his new bicycle. He says "look what I got for my wife".....

I replied, "nice trade"

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdotbob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper?

So you feel write at home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
*My wife showing me her new Sims set-up* - Hey look, I’ve got some bees!

Well maybe if you tried harder, you’d get some As!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffB94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Mr. Chin decided to look for new opportunities after being knighted by the queen.

He is now Sir Chin.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chefboyclakie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Boy will I look- flashy in my new tie! thisiswhyimbroke.com/ligh…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i81potato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
🚨︎ report
I saw 2 ski racks on a new F150 that made them look like antlers...

It was a young 4-point truck

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomorepasswords
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
🚨︎ report
I ate dinner at a retirement home today. After I sat down an older gentleman got up from his seat, slowly walked over to me, parked his walker, looked at me and said "you look new around here, if you ever need anything from me here's my card". [ xpost from r/pics]
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Respectful_Lurker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper?

So you feel write at home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper?

So you feel write at home.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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