Want to hear a potassium joke?

K

πŸ‘︎ 542
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/econway__77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2023
🚨︎ report
On a maiden a man once begat

Bouncing triplets named Nat, Tat and Pat.

'Twas fun in the breeding

But hell in the feeding.

She hadn't a spare tit for Tat.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlisonLiterally
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2023
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hippopotamus that rolls a nat 20?

A hippo-CRIT

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spacedoutaveri
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2021
🚨︎ report
It was my time to shine

My daughter is at university in another state. We occasionally text each other dad jokes. Last night she sent me a message: β€œsend me more dad jokes, quick.” I hopped to it, racking my brain for anything new that I hadn’t already sent her recently. After a few moments she sent me: β€œwe are doing a class project and during the down times I’m reading your jokes to the class, you have a fan base here” I was over the moon. A few moments later she sent me a video of her entire class saying, in chorus: β€œThanks Nate’s Dad”. Completely chuffed. Thank you community, you not only entertain, you help connect.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maelja
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2022
🚨︎ report
Nat King Cole used to write songs about his career as a mathematician

"Chestnuts roasting on an open Fourier"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Agisilaus23
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee hive with no exits?

Un-bee-leave-able

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoggyPotatos823
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend in Germany says that there has been panic buying of sausages and cheese . . .

It's the Wurst KΓ€se scenario

Credit: Twitter, Bruce Lawson (@brucel)

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Althesia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most honest girl's name?

Natalie

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Bolt or Fastener related Christmas/Holiday puns?

So I work at a company that manufactures steel bolts, nuts, washers, anchor/bent bolts, rebar, chains etc. and I'm trying to come up with a t-shirt design for the holiday season. I have the visuals that I want down (a snowflake made out of nuts) but because it's going to be a more fun design ths I've been trying to think of a little pun that I could put across the back, and I'm coming up short.

If it helps we do a lot of forging, pointing, threading, cutting and shipping. We work with steel (and hardened steel) 90% of the time. My workplace is pretty casual so don't feel the need to keep it PG.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IHOP_007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of puns I made about a friend named Ann.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Woodchuck Genders

Driving along, my six-year-old was reading from a "Weird But True" NatGeo book. We were all told that male woodchucks are called "he-chucks," and females are "she-chucks." I told her that the really religious ones must be "nun-chucks."

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RevRagnarok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad loves Christmas carols.

Every year on Christmas we'll have Nat King Cole playing through the house and eventually "The Christmas Song" comes on. Without fail, Dad belts...

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nosing at your nips."

Every year.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PerkinsKebab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2013
🚨︎ report
A holiday themed joke

I was driving in the car with my daughter when The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole comes on the radio

"Daddy, how do they roast chestnuts?"

"On an open fire, duh"

Cue eye roll and a 9 year old googling the answer

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minnick27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.