Saw this nativity scene and the priests were saying...
Did you know "Silent Night" is not a nativity carol, but rather a news item about a successful Scandinavian invasion of the Middle East?
"Bjørn is the king of Israel"
I just finished setting up our nativity scene, and this year I used lego hobbits for the magi.
Just like the song says--wee three kings.
The three wise men in the nativity were actually fire fighters.
We know this because they came from afar.
English is not my native language, please be merciful
This book on Native American cooking.
If you move to a Polynesian country and wonder if the natives will accept you, just know there will be
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.
I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)
Why was the Native American embarrassed after using the bathroom?
He looked down and realized he had some teepee stuck to his foot.
Know your ABC's kids (Except for Guwucci, he sucks)
US native bees have a nickname..
What do you get when you cross a pig with the Native Americans?
What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing?
Sad story about the Native American that drank 37 glasses of ice tea. The next morning they found him dead...
Face down in his tea pee.
If you call a restaurant on a Native American reservation and don’t feel so certain about it...
then you’re having a reservation reservation reservation.
Why did all the Native Americans leave Oklahoma?
Broken Arrow, Broken Bow, Nowata,
I was on safari last year and spoke to a native African girl for hours
Native American Airlines...
... have a patchy safety record.
Native American naming conventions (contains a swear word)
My dad used to tell me this one growing up:
>Native American child is with his father. He looks up at him and says "Dad, how did you figure out what to name us when we were born?"
>
>The dad responds "Son, it's easy: I just looked around nature and what I saw is what I named you. Your sister, Flying-Eagle, for instance, was born while an eagle flew overhead. Your brother was named Roaming-Buffalo for a similar reason. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"
A geography teaches picks two students, one an exchange student from Japan and the other a native, to answer a question about state capitals. “What is the capital of Ohio?”, the teacher asks.
The native student answers “Cleveland”, much to the teacher’s chagrin. The Exchange student on the other hand, answers “It’s a bit late, but Gozaimasu!”
My dad thinks I'm a clock.
When I visited Alaska, I kept thinking I was seeing native eye doctors...
Turns out it was just an optical Aleutian.
When I was in Peru, all the native owls worried me,
I think they were Inca Hoots!
life for native americans was pretty "in tents"
Someone asked if I was Native American...
I said, "No, why?"
"Because your beard is Apache one."
Do you know why there are no good Native American restaurants?
It’s impossible to find a good Sioux chef!
Did you hear about the Native American cook who rose up to become second in command at Bobby Flay's restaurants?
Every wonder why British people pronounce it as “Bri ish”?
It’s because the Tea was thrown into the Boston Harbour
Disclaimer: Not my joke
Why were the Native Americans in America before anyone else?
How to make puns in English as a non native speaker?
TIL: In ancient times, a group of Native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska, but failed.
They just couldn’t get their Bering Strait.
Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
What happened to the bank manager who was all by himself?
I have a russian friend who’s a sound engineer.
And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
How is the best way to greet Native Americans
Why didn't the Native Americans get angry when kicked out of their lands?
Because they became nomads
Native American boy: Dad, I'm hungry.
Native American dad: How, hungry.
Well, you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
What did the pirate say to the Native American?
Why do native Americans hate snow?
It's white and settles on their land
Doctor: I'm afraid we've had to remove your colon
My buddy works at a restaurant on a Native American reservation.
What did the Native American say to the man who had just shown him his very first magic trick?
How do you greet a German Shepherd in their native language?
Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of sweet tea before bed?
They found him the next morning, drowned in his own teepee.
On my last vacation to the Dakota's, I spent WAY too much at a Native American store known for their elaborate cabinetry facades..
I just had to have a Sioux veneer.
My Native American friend’s son is going through puberty
What do you call a Native American cancer patient with an affinity for Japanese condiments?
My new restaurant is a fusion of Chinese and Native Alaskan cuisines.
It's called Lo Mein on the Totem Pole.
How do Native American Ghosts hunt Buffalo?
How can you tell that a Pirate has native blood?
because they'll tell you: "Arrrrr, me Métis!"
My problem with this subreddit as a non-native English speaker
Why did the Native American leave the arctic?
I got talking to a North African girl in her native language for hours the other day
I was on a date with a girl from Africa, we spent the whole night talking in her native language...
We just clicked.. -- Jimmy Carr
What brand of modem do native American Indians use?
There's this planet, where the pointy-haired natives never smile, never crack a joke,
except every seven years, when all they do is word play.
It's called Pun Farr.
Did you know Nicki Minaj is part Native American?
She's 100% Arappaho
(I made that up in the shower, it could technically be a shower thought)
If you were to second guess your decision on booking a trip to a Native American community....
That would be a reservation reservation reservation
As a Native American, I've grown to trust the US government
but I still have my reservations.
What punch does a native American throw?
What kind of tree protects the Native American Hogwarts?
There was a big poetry contest and it cane down to two finalists, an English proffessor and a native American. They had to improvise a poem from a word that the judges gave them. The word was Timbuktu...
The English professor went first. He thought for a minute, then stepped up to the mic and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Marched a lonely caravan,
Men on camel, two by two,
Destination; Timbuktu.
The audience applauded. Then it was the Native American's turn. He stepped up to the mic and said:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three gals in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we were two,
I bucked one, Tim bucked two.
What do you call a sharp, Native American, ghost?
A proud father: My son got my wife today
Today we were eating and my son ate a carrot without using the fork so my wife promptly said: "Don't eat with your fingers..." to which he answered: "I'm eating with my mouth!"
I was soooo happy and my wife had to let it slide...
(We don't speak English so I hope the joke isn't lost in the translation)
EDIT: Thanks for all the upvotes :) This was an unexpected surprise to wake up to. Very happy that it translates in to English so well. Now some clarifications:
-
Yes... the carrots were cooked, we are not psychopaths (in regards to our eating habbits)
-
My son is 10 years old and still living at home
-
We all speak English, just not our native language and not used at the dinner table
I’m not even ashamed that I enjoyed this
What do you call a native Australian with a six-pack?
Did you hear about the two Native Americans who were best friends?
They say they were tipis in a pod.
Gave me a pleasant chuckle while driving, I had to pull over and take a pic
My son just finished his dissertation on Native American culture.
Of course the Native Americans were here before us.
Why were the Native Americans the first to come to America?
Because they had reservations
TIL: A thousand years ago, some native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska, but failed.
They just couldn’t get their Bering Strait.
Why were they native Americans in America first?
Because they had reservations....
Know why the native Americans were here first?
...because they had reservations.
The other day I was second guessing my decision to book time to visit a Native American community...
It was a reservation reservation reservation.
What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
He drowned in his tea pee.....
Why were the Native Americans here first?
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