Nang Drama Puns

Are you seriously celebrating the potential Go-Digong tandem!?

Do you pathetic losers not realize what that means!?

That means Leni will get practically ZERO media coverage in the coming months!

Every single media outlet will be drooling over every little development in this "family drama", ignoring every other candidate. A father and daughter fighting for control over a country? Allies going at each other's throats? Not even G.R.R. Martin could come up with these shenanigans!

And yes, you guessed right, the "true DDS" and the Marcos Apologists will be bickering all over social media. But, you know what else? Leni's fanbase would be also joining in the fray simply to ridicule this whole sarswela, and project their "intellectual superiority unto the unwashed masses". In fact, I can guarantee you that your favorite Leni-supporting influencer will be making 10 posts about the Marcoses/Dutertes everyday, while only making a single post about Leni.

In short, the entire traditional media and social media will be flooded with the names of Marcos and Duterte...and nobody else!

Then a month or so before the elections, Go and Digong will most likely withdraw their candidacies, then announce their support for the BBM-Sara tandem. Exhausted after months of getting bombarded with ridicules from Leni's camp, all their supporters would feel vindicated and 10X more zealous. And with the rest of the candidates buried in obscurity, the BBM-Sara tandem would win by landslide.

Now, you'll all be saying "Malabo nang magkasundo ang mga DDS at Marcos Apologists matapos mag-away-away. And they'll surely notice that they're being manipulated". And I'll say you are all absolutely ignorant about how the average Filipino thinks. The people that you lovingly call "The Class D" are, to put it lightly...extremely laid-back. Once the father and daughter make amends, they'll be sharing bahal with each other, relieved at the fact that they no longer have to bicker, then forget that the entire sarswela ever transpired at all.

What really blows my mind most is how you pathetic fools can't help yourselves falling into these traps. You all love to pretend that these tricks don't work on you, to the point that you even refuse to acknowledge that you have already been hooked. Combine that with your inexplicable obsession with slam-dunking on the "ignorant" masses, and you get a perfect formula to unwittingly contribute to the BBM-Sara hype, while ensur

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hi all! This is my first time posting so please bear with me... Konting background lang sakin, I'm 28M and an only child. Dear friend is 29F, only child din, though has a bf. Me and said friend got close due to toy collecting and since me and said friend are both only children we treated each other as siblings, she was my Ate and I was her little bro. Honestly I got attached to her kasi everyday kami halos magusap and we were close to the point na we can open up to each others personal problems. I even lent her money at one point. Haven't met her in person yet though, we made future plans pero as things stand mukang di na ata kami makakapag meet.

We got close due to our shared hobby of toy collecting, although recently naissue ako, I got framed for harassing a fellow collector, I didn't really clear my name and just let the issue die since ayoko ng gulo. My Ate asked me about it and I denied the allegations, she just replied that she is so disappointed in me and ghosted me on all social media after, literal unfriend sa fb and unfollow sa IG/Twitter. I had a friend group din sa fig collecting and all of them immediately blocked me due to the issue except for my Ate na nang ghost lang.

Sobrang kinakain na ako ng Anxiety and Overthinking ko ngayon to the point na I got depressed for a few days. Napa half day nga ako sa work on Monday due to this. I messaged her on Instagram saying na ramdam ko she hates me and I deserve it but I still see her as my dear Ate, seenzone lang inabot ko.

I really want to fix things with my Ate kasi for me ang pangit lang na nasira kapatiran namin dahil dun sa issue. Sobrang sakit feeling ko nawalan ako ng kapatid. I told some of my friends about it and they advised me to just give it time as time heals. I was planning on giving her a bday gift nga on September wether magkaayos kami by then or not.

Sorry sa nobela but again first time ko po mag post and wala na talaga ako iba matakbuhan... Alangan naman imessage ko nanay ng Ate ko or bf nya about this, ayoko palakihin tong... misunderstanding namin.

Now I ask you reddit peeps, any other advice you can give me? Hayaan ko na lang ba mawala ng tuluyan Ate ko? Cause I'm willing to put in effort to fix things with her as important sya sakin.

Salamat po for taking time to read this drama piece and I hope you are all safe!!

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Hi. I'm aware marami mga heartbroken dito and struggling to move on and heal. I also want to share my story. Nung simula ng pandemic nag start ako makipag chat sa strangers using diff soc med platforms but yung pinaka nagamit ko is NearGroup. Easy lang kasi mag end ng convo kaya mas komportable. Lagi ko naman sinasabi sa lahat ng nakausap ko dun na simpleng kausap lang hanap ko. I'm not looking for relationship, not even friendship. Kaya mas na enjoy ko kasi iba-ibang tao nakakausap ko and light and easy lang mga usapan minsan flirty but nothing serious talaga. And I'm using dummy acc kaya I'm not also expecting for someone to take me seriously.

Then last Feb 2021 I matched with this boy who is 2 years older than me. Nag clicked agad kami. He's not really from Manila pero yun ang nilagay niyang location sa NG. No issue naman about dun. Sinabi niya rin na single siya for 2 years. He is also using dummy kaya fair lang. Nung una akala ko tulad lang din ng dati na ilang days lang magiging boring na kaya end ulit but no. Yung kalokohan umabot ng 4 months na puyatan. Okay yung 4 months na yun naging parang "kami" pero walang label. Nakwento na niya halos lahat. Pati love story ng parents niya. Sinabi niya pa na magiging part ako nang pagtupad ng pangarap niya. Based on what I remember, siya ang unang na attached, unang nag I love you na naging awkward kasi tinanong ko pa bakit niya nasabi yun. Basta yun landian to the max. Nag sesend pa siya ng mga vm na kumakanta. Mahilig din mag update kahit hindi ko tinatanong. Siya din mismo nagtatanong kung gusto na ba namin sa real acc mag usap. As in siya talaga ang matapang na gusto mag "level up" 😆.

After 4 months doon na biglang nagbago. Bigla na siyang nawawala. Sorry siya nang sorry. Ayaw niya daw ako mahirapan. To cut the drama, tinanong ko na kung ayaw na niya. Kung gusto na mag stop. Hindi niya sinasabi ang totoo. 1 month siya nawala, so ako back to NG pero siya lang naman tina-topic ko sa mga kausap ko dun. Bumalik ang gago. Nag sosorry na naman, edi nagpa uto ulit ako. Ilang days lang nawala na naman. So ako ayoko na, hanap na ulit ibang kausap pero wag na sa ganung level. After 1 month, bumalik ulit. Nagkunwari pa akong ma-pride nung nag usap kami kahit paulit-ulit na siyang nag sosorry. Tinanong ko pa kung trip niya lang talaga ako. Sabi niya hindi. Sabi niya totoo mga sinasabi niya sakin, totoo na gusto niya talaga ako. Nung time na yun ayoko na talaga.

Pero hindi matahimik kaluluwa ko. Chinat ko siya

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

It was about a weak back.

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.