Multiple Puns imgur.com/a/UXaWm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carolingianempire
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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A Jonathan Galindo but can speak multiple languages

Jonathan Duolingo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricTung1007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.

Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year's Eve?

Times Square.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.

I wanted to become a fun guy.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Yesterday I met someone who didn't know what Γ— (the multiplication symbol) meant...

It really is a sign of the times.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomPeepsle12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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A character you can’t play in a game was sliced with a sword multiple times.

It left them in pieces.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Once my school had multiple teachers absent and they sent the substitutes to the wrong class AMA

Whoops wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjxdtjtxjynx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Why can you take multiple mushrooms

They don’t take up mushroom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishboshTV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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People always ask why I wear multiple watches

I have too much time on my hands

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rikkert996
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,

but we're okay now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CNRavenclaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What elf do I know very well and can catch multiple mice?

Probably mice elf! My self would need several mouse traps, but I can catch many, if they're dumb enough!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?

The teacher told him not to use tables

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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When I was a child, I had trouble memorizing multiplication tables.

Times were difficult.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I was going to tell a joke about a decimal...

But there is no point.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/05_berryCW
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"

Me : "Who? Me or me?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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WARNING FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS THE KFC GAME CONSOLE

Avoid getting a console on launch day. Multiple units had to be recalled due to the circuit boards being "fried".

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeCodecaine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.

It's difficult for them to stay in sink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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I'm bald and im going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits

So from a distance it looks like hares

πŸ‘︎ 500
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiscuitaBoyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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I ordered a chicken and an egg online

I'll let you know

πŸ‘︎ 615
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memetime66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Doctor: Sir you’ve suffered multiple 3rd degree burns

Dad: that’s odd, it felt hotter than that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealMrYonder
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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I never liked the multiplication of 12 with itself.

It's just gross.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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My wife pulled me aside yesterday. We sat down and she told me she had some news. Honey, I'm pregnant were here exact words.

I responded with hi pregnant, i'm dad.

"No you're not."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwawaymaybeso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?

Bananas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who drove through the mountain with multiple people in his car?

He had carpool tunnel syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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What explains β€œSleepy Joe’s” explosion of success on Super Tuesday, after never having won a primary in multiple previous campaigns?

He was Biden his time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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What do call a comedy film that takes place in multiple decades?

A comedy of eras

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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This works on multiple levels
πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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When was multiplication invented?

A long time ago. Adam and Eve were the first to multiply.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/milkchaser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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What do you get if you download Microsoft word multiple times

Microsoft Sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grimace1542
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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I can’t relax when I have multiple options for where to sleep when I’m camping

It’s two tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlooShinja
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Rich people
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I have a fear of driving through tunnels with multiple people in the car

Doc said it's Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewmathman17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...

but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other

An open relationship

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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What do you call a priest who travels a lot?

A Roamin’ Catholic

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I really have a thing for dumb girls. Just met one who can't fill out multiple choices surveys

She ticks all the boxes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have multiple personalities

And so do I

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatcornellbitch
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.

It's hard for them to stay in sink.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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