Told the waitress my coffee tasted like mud.

"It should, it was fresh ground this morning. "

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œHey, Watson, is that mud on your shoes?”

β€œNo. Shit, Sherlock.”

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a mud man and a mud woman?

Mud flaps

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I know people put mud on their faces for various benefits but I saw a sign the other day that said sewage treatment works

But trust me, it doesn’t

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the crud say to the mud

Are we crap?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sprewy2y
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Tomorrow is International Mud Day, and I had this marvellous exchange with my 4 year old today, Sunday: "Better prepare your gumboots, tomorrow is Mud Day!" I exclaimed. My child, without missing a beat, replied:

"No it's not, it's MUNday!" The apprentice has now become the master.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?

An adobee!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
When is being ankle deep in mud worse than being waist deep?

When you're upside down.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Here’s a really dirty joke....

A white horse fell in mud

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wormholewanderer1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, and cross the road again?

It was a dirty double crosser.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoxfullofBuns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud?"

"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

πŸ‘︎ 444
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!

Yes sir, it's fresh ground!

EDIT: taken from Jokeriot

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Holmes: "Is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that comforter on your bed?" Watson: "No, sheet, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that a long note on your desk?" Watson: "No, chit, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that your residence?" Watson: "No, shed, Sherlock"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
You guys wanna hear a dirty joke

So little jimmy was playing in some mud and he had to take a bath

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you get your toe stuck in the mud?

Call a toe (tow) truck!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joanneshands
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to have a conversation with my wife when she was applying a mud pack.

You should have seen the filthy look she gave me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is there mud on shoe hell?

Because it's sole sucking.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exdoodles
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Wannna hear a dirty joke

A kid fell in a mud puddle.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubyreddove
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear something really dirty?

Mud!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a joke about mud, but I can't post it here.

It's too dirty.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Ground coffee

A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.

He turns to the waiter and says, β€œWaiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, β€œBut, sir, it’s fresh ground!”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the robot do when it got mud on its shoe?

Reboot

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howardyoudoing95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken who crossed the road, fell into the mud and crossed the road again?

A dirty double-crosser...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XLeoInTheDarkX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Don't be a stick in the mud.

http://i.imgur.com/h2E32OI.png

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ringingbells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
🚨︎ report
Too much laxative is bad for you

It causes high mud pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Feeling dull? Learn about Mycelium!

It can turn a stick in the mud into a fun guy or fun gal!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œHey Watson, is that mud on your boots?”

β€œNo, shit, Sherlock.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was just ground

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perseus_Turambar
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?

WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?

WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was surprised when the coffee I ordered tasted just like mud.

The barista told me it was fresh ground.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road roll in the mud and then cross back over the road

Because he was a dirty double crosser

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrashMannCo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee taste like mud?

Because it was ground just a few minutes ago

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I ordered a coffee at the local diner and though it tasted like mud.

Turns out it was fresh ground.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conditackler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter: But it was ground this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/visionweaver
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee taste like mud?

Because it was just ground this morning

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeodardoDicaprio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
🚨︎ report
β€œWaiter, this coffee tastes like MUD!”

β€œOh really? Well, it was GROUND this morning.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mc1nc4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A cow fell in the mud.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were having an argument while she was applying a mud pack.

You should have seen the filthy look she gave me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sontrii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,

"But sir, it's fresh ground!"

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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