β€œNation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research” I guess those geologists are a bunch of Stoners.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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We got a new air mattress but it was too lumpy. We called customer support, very angry, demanding our money back!

They said we were blowing it out of proportion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the β€œAmerican dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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"I'd like to return this, please," I told the cashier.

"Sorry, sir. We can't do that."

"But I have the receipt here! I'm demanding my money back!" I shouted.

"You can't do that with a lottery ticket, sir," he replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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Son, if you decide to call a psychic to talk to me after I die...

...and you're going "Oh my gosh, I'm so overwhelmed," and the psychic doesn't say "Hi, So Overwhelmed, I'm dead," demand your money back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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Three for one at Denny's

Homeless regular at Denny's sits down next to me at the counter.

He says, "Hey, Judy, I'll have a streak and eggs."

Judy, a waitress of sixty-some years inquires, "Do you have enough money for it?"

The man says, "I'd stake my life on it."

Judy gets annoyed and demands to see it, to which the man responds, pulling out a ten dollar bill, "Un-eggs-pected, I know."

She said, "No tip again, huh?"

He shoots back, "C'mon! Meat me in the middle here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flipnotyk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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