Why did Tish hide the molasses?

Bein’ syrup Tish’s.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2022
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How many moles do you think they have to kill to get a whole jar of molasses?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/euratowel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2021
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Looking at a bottle of Molasses got me thinking...

What do they do with the rest of the mole?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StimpyMD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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3 moles are walking in a tunnel...

The first mole says, "I smell sugar." The second mole says, "I smell cinnamon." The third mole says, "I smell molasses."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lat_fyr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2022
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Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge.

It's a viscous cycle.


My family didn't like this nearly as much as the pancakes I was making, sadly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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What do people in Finland say when they complete something together?

We are finnish-ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/testing35
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2022
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I love molasses, but I can’t eat it.

I can’t stop thinking about all those poor little moles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JudgeGusBus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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You can't have Molasses...

...until you've had some lasses

Just wanted to say that this dad joke has been passed down through four generations of dads, me being the fifth once I have a kid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePinkWombat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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Looking at the Thanksgiving grocery shopping pile: "I see you got some Molasses."

"What do they do with the rest of the Mole, anyway?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alephnul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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Whats brown and sticky

Yes a stick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulScripter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Barbecue sauce

When you're making barbecue sauce you might be tempted to use less lasses, but you'll have better luck with molasses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unitconversion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
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What's Brown And Sticky?

A Stick! What were you thinking?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rossdabose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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3 moles are digging their way out of prison.

The first mole says β€œI can smell the clean air and grass! We’re almost there!”

The second mole says β€œI can smell the fresh wet dirt! We’re almost there!”

The third mole says β€œReally? All I can smell is molasses.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chloeruel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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What do you see when you look down a mole hole?

Molasses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecmm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I thought my days of misquoting popular idioms were over.

But I’m like a phoenix, rising from molasses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Dad joked my irritated wife at the grocery store.

Wife: "Would you PLEASE help look for molasses?" Me: "Sure. Find me a mole and I'll show you where his ass is."

Blank stare of death.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimrob4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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There once was a family of moles...

A daddy mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. One day the daddy mole popped his head out of the ground and said, "I smell cookies!" The momma mole squeezed through the opening of the hole next to daddy mole and said, "I smell ice cream!" The baby mole tried popping out of the hole, but couldn't squeeze between his parents. He said, "All I smell is molasses..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KataKataBijaksana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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A family of moles was enjoying a nice Sunday morning...

...when father mole looks over lovingly to mother mole and says, "In appreciation of all you do, we are going to brunch today!"

Mother mole and baby mole excitedly get ready and put on their Sunday best.

When they are ready to leave, mother mole climbs up the tunnel first, and exclaims, "O my, I can smell pancakes and syrup!" Baby mole comes up next and says, "I can smell eggs and bacon!"

Father mole follows behind and says, "Funny, all I can smell is molasses!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trivialpursuits
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Heard this one on a trolley in Boston...

The tour guide was telling us about the Boston molasses disaster, or as he called it…the Boston molassacre!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldawg092498
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2012
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This page brings back fond memories for me. (Dad joke inside as well)

My dad had a real goofy and dadly sense of humor. He past a way about 4 years ago but all the jokes here remind me of the ones he used to make. I'm smiling so hard as I go through these.

One of my favorites was the mole joke: One day a house near a molehill was making pancakes. Daddy mole comes up, sniffs, and says,"I smell pancakes." Mamma mole pops up next to him, sniffs, and says I smell pancakes too!" Baby mole hears his parents but can't get past their rear ends. So he says,"All I smell is molasses!"

7 year old me was in tears every time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lets_improve_us
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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5 moles are standing in a line. what does the last one smell?

Molasses.

just saw this one here and spit out my water https://www.instagram.com/p/-z5Bn4sUi2/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeeWhiz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
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It took me a second, then I just gave that typical post-dad-joke sigh...

My dad: So there's this family of moles, who live underground of course. The mother mole comes out of their hole and says, "Oh, it smells like syrup out here." Then the father mole comes out behind her and says, "I think it smells like honey." Then their son comes out behind both of them, but he couldn't fit out of the hole, and he says, "Well to me it smells like molasses!"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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A mole family is leaving its burrow for the day...

Dada Mole pokes his nose out of the mole hole, sniffs the air, and licks his lips. β€œMmm, someone nearby is baking.” he says. β€œI smell butter.”

Mama Mole comes up next and sniffs the air. Her eyes light up. "Yes, someone is baking,” she says. β€œI smell sugar!”

Brother Mole is next. β€œMmm, maybe some chocolate!” he exclaims as he does a little dance.

Little Baby Mole is last. He sniffs the air, gags and nearly chokes as he says β€œAll I smell is molasses.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSS24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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Why did the three blind mice move out of the farmer's wife's kitchen?

Because they heard that she made cookies out of molasses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticSunset7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Brother-in-law dad joked my sister

My sister: We were out of brown sugar so I used sugar and molasses. Brother-in-law: How did the moles feel about that?

He then proceeded to laugh like a maniac when I groaned loudly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pathetic_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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Three moles in a line.

"The first sniffed the air and said 'I smell pasta."

"The second sniffed the air and said 'I smell pasta too."

"The third one sniffed the air and said 'Really? All I smell are molasses"

I love my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IlliterateBatman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2014
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Dad jokes at a Chinese Restaurant

Me: What do you think they put in this sauce? It's so good.

Mom: I'm pretty sure that it's molasses.

Me: Just the asses? What do they do with the rest of them?

Everyone in the restaurant: Groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewkramer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2014
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Don't know if this is a "dad joke" but my dad told it to me and I thought it was hilarious.

A family of 3 moles were walking around in a tunnel. The tunnel was dark causing the dad to run into a wall. Then the mom ran into the dad and the baby mole ran into the mom. The dad sniffs the air and says "I smell pancakes." Then the mom says, "I smell syrup" then the baby says "I smell molasses"

My mom sighed and my dad was in tears from laughing so hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merryklumklum
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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My manager is definitely a Dad.

I work at a Starbucks as a barista. I can't tell you which seasonal drinks were about to start on nov 11th or 12th, but I can tell you one of them has a molasses drizzle topping.

Today, a guest comes up and asks if we have any molasses. My manager's response:

"Molasses? How can I have molasses if I never had any lasses to begin with?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorinaBox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
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The moles are going through a tunnel….

First mole says I smell sugar Second mole says I smell cinnamon

Third mole says I smell molasses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenbisbee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2022
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There are three moles in a tunnel.

The first one says β€œI smell sugar.” The second one says β€œI smell cinnamon.” The third says β€œI smell molasses.”

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2022
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What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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What do you see when you look down a mole hole?

Molasses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nhmtbiker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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The first mole crawled out of the hole and said "I smell strawberries!"

The second mole crawled out of the hole and said:

"I smell strawberries!"

The third mole crawled out of the hole and said:

"I smell molasses!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harryassburger-il
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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