Breaking Madden Dad Joke

Question: What was the worst shift you've ever worked?

Answer: @jon_bois Was a gravedigger for a summer - every shift was the worst. Finished a shift once and realized I left my soda cup in a grave.

Response: This is accidental genius. You could have skated by on sympathy for such a long time. "Cut me a break, okay? I BURIED MY POP LAST WEEKEND."

H/T http://www.sbnation.com/2014/10/21/7028991/breaking-madden-roster-cuts-week-8-a-big-gulp-full-o-poop

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👤︎ u/lpshred
📅︎ Oct 22 2014
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My dad the magician...

Growing up I ate a lot of sandwiches. Without fail, every time I asked my father to make one for me this was the exchange...

Me: "Dad, can you make me a sandwich"?

Dad: "POOF! You're a sandwich."

It was maddening, especially when I was jonesing for a PB&J.

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👤︎ u/CTV49
📅︎ Oct 04 2013
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I hate how EA has a monopoly on NFL Football videogames

It really maddens me.

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👤︎ u/Coffeeist
📅︎ Feb 03 2018
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A gravedigger exhumed Beethoven's casket.

He opened the lid and there was Ludwig... maddenly erasing sheets of his greatest works. "Just as I thought!" said the gravedigger. "He's decomposing!"

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👤︎ u/Melspop
📅︎ Jun 27 2018
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Dad on running

Before every high school track meet, Dad would supply me with these two nuggets of wisdom:

"To run you must move your legs quickly" "The trick to winning a race is to get to the finish line before the other guy"

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📅︎ Sep 30 2013
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Asked if my wife enjoyed the new American Football movie set in England

Far from the Madden Crowd

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📅︎ May 15 2015
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