Macropenis Puns

My flacid girth is between 12 and 13cm, depending on temperature.

They say thats a macropenis or "abnormally" large?

Is that true? I always thought my wiener is totally normal.

I remeasured by dick today and put my results into CalcSD. 6.2” x 5” erect and 5” x 3.5” flaccid. My flaccid is considered macropenis but my erect is considered average to above average. Would I technically be a shower rather than a grower? Can anyone help me break down what this means?

sucks to be you doesn’t it

Came across a mostly dumb website (blog) dedicated to macropenis - looks like a crappy factless wordpress account saying macropenis is anything above 9 inches. (NO sources) but it got me thinking. ....

Wikipedia has a definition of micropenis, but no macropenis - but apparently there IS a definition... This is the correction I posted on the said macropenis wordpress account (bless them for having a go at another fact free penis website - there are so many)

so here we go. - the facts...

From . Indian J Endocrinol Metab. 2015 Jan-Feb; 19(1): 189.doi: 10.4103/2230-8210.146882 PMCID: PMC4287772 PMID: 25593854Cut-offs for stretched penile length in neonates (Devi Dayal and Anil Kumar Bhall)

…”Similarly, macropenis may lead to the identification of rare syndromes like Lenz microphthalmia syndrome and Beckwith–Wiedemann syndrome.[3] The definition of micro or macropenis is based on SPL of 2.5 standard deviation (SD) below or above the mean for age respectively.[2]

Where {2} is taken from…

2. Wiygul J, Palmer LS. Micropenis. ScientificWorldJournal. 2011;11:1462–9. [PMC free article] [PubMed]

Now… for adult males… the mean length (erect) is 13.12 cm and the SD is  (1.66) cm (See the source for THIS data below)

With me so far…?

OK. so that means that Macro penis = anything above 13.12+ 2.5* 1.66 = 17.27cmWhich means any penis longer than 17.27 cm (6.8 inches) is a macro penis. NOT as you suggest without any sources whatsoever amazingly) 9-10 inches (22-25 cm)

Source: Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 menDavid Veale Sarah Miles Sally Bramley Gordon Muir John HodsollFirst published: 08 December 2014

...if only I was about half an inch sorter....

Ye bois

Because they want to and penis pills don’t work

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hmmm, not tryna be that one boring guy but yeah, just wondering how big it should be to be actually problematic. Sorry for my bad English tho

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Mathematical puns makes me number

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Put it on my bill

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!