What do you call it when one German WWII soldier lies to you, then another, then two lie to you, then three tell you a lie, then five lie to you, then eight, then thirteen....
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 31 2021
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
What lies on the ocean floor twitching uncontrollably?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...
In other words, itβs between Iraq and a hard place.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
When Lil Uzi Vert lies down...
Does he call himself Lil Uzi Horizont?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Beauty lies in the eye of the bee-holder.
π︎ 394
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
Whatβs Orange and Lies Constantly?
An abandoned basketball, but I like where your headβs at.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Did you know ghosts can't tell lies?
You can see right through them.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
What lies on the ground 100ft in the air?
π︎ 401
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
How do you fix a municipality with lies?
With a mend-a-city program :)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
21st June 2020 lies on Sunday, which is also Father's Day, but since we have Solar Eclipse on that day, it's actually Sun-day.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
Cirrus-ly though
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
What's Blue and lies under a mushroom ?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
Harry potter had always been hesitant about telling lies when under the invisibility cloak
people always said that they could see right through him!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
My jokes have gotten so dad-ly
I've had to register them in three states.
They're considered cruel and unusual punishment in the other 47.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?
It always tastes like paper.
π︎ 541
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
What do call a lion that always lies?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
I discovered a locomotive that never lies...
I call it the true true train
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 13 2020
If a battery is dead does that mean it is current ly not working.
I kind of thought it was a positive joke.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
What do you call gumbo that only tells lies?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
What do you get when Hitler doesn't lie, then lies once, then again, then two more times, then three times, then five, then eight, then thirteen times?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
What do you call a person who lies awake at night ?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 10 2019
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 04 2018
If a Hobit lies all the time
Does that make him a hobitual liar?
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 19 2018
What lies under the sea?
Space.
Told to me by my 9yr old.
Edit: the space bar is under the C key for the that don't get it.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Apr 06 2018
What do you call it when Hitler, Goebbels, Goering and Himmler stand in a line and tell lies?
π︎ 68
π
︎ Sep 04 2013
Albert Einstein lies on his deathbed.
He had a stroke of genius.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 02 2018
A Canadian lies about a gym membership to sneak in a workout. How does he feel the next morning?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 18 2018
Following a bad breakup a bartender advised me that happiness lies at the bottom of a tequila bottle
I took it with a grain of salt
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 27 2018
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's been telling lies. "
I replied, "Well tell him he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
π︎ 67
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 304
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?
π︎ 479
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
What lies on the ocean floor and shakes?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 20 2020
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches ?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 28 2020
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
What lies on the ocean floor twitching uncontrollably?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 16 2020
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 20
π
︎ May 02 2018
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 22 2018
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