My wife said I should start doing lunges to get healthier
That would be a big step forward
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 16 2022
My wife told me if Iβm going to stay home , then start doing βlungesβ to get back in shape.
This would be a big step forward for me.
π︎ 271
π
︎ Mar 01 2022
I said to my doctor while pointing to my body, "Here are lungs. Here are kidneys. And, here are the intestines." Doc said, "What are you doing?"
I said, "I'm giving an organ recital."
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 03 2022
I asked my wife a suggestion for an exercise routine and she said, βWhy donβt you try lunges?β
I said, βThat sounds like a big step.β
π︎ 180
π
︎ Dec 29 2021
I started doing lunges this year for my health
I think itβs a big step forwards.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jan 15 2022
I was going to do reverse lunges this year for my fitness
But I feel that would just be a big step backwards..
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept right through my son and his friends having a raging weed and heavy metal party in the yard all thru the night. As the sun came up, the party was still in full swing and my phone had blown up with messages complaining about the noise and the smell.
So I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs βWHATβS GOINβ ON?β
Edit: so happy that one of my home-made dad-jokes is so well-received :) thanks, everyone!
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Mar 20 2022
What did one lung say to the other lung?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Sep 01 2021
To the person who received my lung transplant...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 23 2021
I donβt know why people say itβs hard to quit smoking
This is my 7th time quitting this week!
π︎ 91
π
︎ Apr 27 2022
Iβm scared of lung problems, so I make a lot of noise in the bathroom when I go
Because everyone knows pneumonia starts with a silent p.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 28 2021
Achievement unlocked - Received a handmade "Book o' dad jokes" for this father's day!
My kid surprised me today with a handmade book with dad jokes. Each joke had an associated graphic too as a bonus! I'm so happy I wanted to share the joy with you guys.
These are the 26 jokes (some I've learned from here, but a few of them I've never heard):
-
I'm afraid for the calendar, its days are numbered.
-
My wide said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That's a big step forward!
-
What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.
-
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
-
A skeleton walks into a bar and says - I'll have a beer and a mop please.
-
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
-
I don't trust trees, they're too shady.
-
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
-
Did you hear the rumour about the butter? I did, but I'm not going to spread it!
-
Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself? Because it was two-tired.
-
Why did Billy get fired from the banana packaging factory? He kept trowing away the bent ones.
-
Why was math so sad? Because of all its problems.
-
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
-
A guy walks into a bar and got disqualified from the limbo contest.
-
Have you ever try to catch fog? I did once, but I mist.
-
Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
-
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
-
I Was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel, but you guys didn't like it.
-
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
-
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
-
Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.
-
Why are piggy banks so wise? Because they're filled with common cents.
-
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
-
You know, people say they pick their noses, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
-
What did zero said to eight? That belt looks great on you.
-
To whoever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you. You have my word.
I hope you find a few new ones too in this list.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 20 2022
I didn't know if I should do lunges or crunches, so I compromised...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 09 2021
Ever since I got my lung removed...
....I've cut my smoking in half.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 21 2021
My gym instructor suggested I do lunges to keep fit.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 07 2021
Had to take a lung surgery
It was a breathtaking experience
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 29 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
Thatβs a big step forward
π︎ 43
π
︎ May 06 2022
I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 15 2022
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 137
π
︎ Apr 18 2022
I'm thinking of doing lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step foward.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 16 2022
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
I replied to her agreeing that it would be a big step forward.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 06 2022
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 25 2022
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a big step forward
π︎ 34
π
︎ Feb 22 2022
My wife wanted us to do lunges to keep in shape
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
My wife suggested I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a really big step forward.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Sep 02 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 215
π
︎ Nov 04 2021
My wife has started doing lunges to get in shape
It's a big step forward for her
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 02 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 21 2022
My kids tell me that I should do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a big step forward
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 16 2021
My wife and I started doing lunges to get in shape
Itβs a big step forward
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 09 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a big step forward
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 07 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shapeβ¦
That would be a big step forwardπ
π︎ 30
π
︎ Nov 02 2021
My wife told me I should start doing more lunges...
that would be a big step forward!
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 15 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a big step forward
π︎ 40
π
︎ Sep 09 2021
I'm thinking about doing lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a great leap forward.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 04 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shapeβ¦
That will be a big step forward.
π︎ 71
π
︎ Jul 26 2021
What did one lung say to another?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jul 05 2021
"My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape"
That would be a big step forward."
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jul 28 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a big step forwards
π︎ 64
π
︎ May 04 2021
What did one lung say to the other?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 24 2021
My girlfriend said she wanted to try lunges.
That's a big step forward.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 29 2021
My wife wants to get in shape, so I recommended lunges.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 04 2021
Iβve started doing lunges to stay in shape
Thatβs a big step forward
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 12 2021
What did one lung say to another lung?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jun 09 2021
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 12 2021
Doing lunges at the gym today
It kinda a big step forward for me.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 01 2021
Son: Iβve started doing lunges to keep in shape.
Dad: Thatβs a big step forward for you!
π︎ 60
π
︎ Jun 08 2021
I started doing lunges to get into shape
It's a big step forward for me
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 02 2021
My wife suggested I do lunges as an exercise to get fitter during quarantine.
That sounds ...like a big step.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
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