What did the Lawyer say after having a tough financial year?

My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nnntridib
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Safety ratings

I work security at a large lab. We have a safety rating of green/yellow/red that we need to ask incoming workers. This occurred today when my co-worker greeted an incoming employee.

Co-worker: β€œHello. What kind of work are you doing today? Green, yellow, or red work?”

Employee: β€œI’m just going to my office to water my plants.”

Me: β€œThat’s definitely green work.”

Co-worker: β€œDid you have to?”

Me: β€œSorry. That joke was low hanging fruit.”

Co-worker: β€œReally?”

Me: β€œGuess I’m stacking them up like cord wood today.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/II_Confused
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you kids! Its called the cheerio joke.


So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will you marry me?" she says "no honey you really do have to become a frosted cheerio first." So he goes back and he works and works, hes a fryboy at McGrubers or something, I dont care. So he works and he works and he gets promoted at the restraunt and is making more money. And he works and he works and he works and by having that income raise he finally becomes a level 3 cheerio. He feels sucessful for the first time in his life but he is starting to fall back on his old ways. One day he goes to the casino and he loses and he loses and he loses and he gambled all his money away and he gets fired to boot because gambling is against company policy. So he is back down to a level 1 cheerio. He gets a job on a production line at a nearby factory and determines himself not to fall back ever again. So he works and he works and he works and he works and he WORKS, level 2, level 3, and he is doing great again. He is promoted to Floor manager of the factory and he is doing great and becomes a level 4 cheerio. But then one day a rival company sabotages their operation by putting poison in their toothpaste or whatever the hell they were making. They have to pay out damages and PR and the like and they declare bankruptcy. He is knocked back down to level 2 for the lack in income. But he is hired almost straight away by a branch of a huge conglomerate because they recognized how hard of a worker he is. So he works, level 3, works, level 4, and he works and works and WORKS. So he is promoted t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t17389z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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My dad got me right when I woke up. . .

Dad: Did you hear about the guy who mugged a midget?

Me: No. (Groan incoming)

Dad: Well, he really stooped low!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoden17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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