Look At Menu Puns

I replied, "Usually next to the main course."

She was not amused. I giggled for 20 minutes. And texted several friends.

I told her they were easy to count.

We were looking at the menu's ( we were at the handmade burger co a restaurant in the Uk) when he said

Him: oh look there are Cajun burgers they must be for special events

I looked at him kind of confused not realising the horrible punch line coming

Him: you know for special oc-Cajuns

Me and my mother just groaned It really was horrible.

I worked at a restaurant years ago.

Me: Would you like some complementary bread while you look over our menu?

Husband: Is it well bread?

Me: It's pure bread.

The wife rolled her eyes. The husband and I smiled.

At lunch with my grandparents, waiter comes over to ask how our meals were: Grandma "What does the dessert menu look like?" Waiter "Well, it's black, rectangular, about this big..."

So it's my dad and i, sitting the the car, he was driving and i was in the passenger seat. All of a sudden he seemed to slow down a little as if he was giving way to someone turning in. however there where no cars, and i could see him glaring out of the window at what seemed to be the nicest pair of jugs id ever seen. anyway i got pretty pissed and asked him what the hell he is doing? to which he replied : "Its ok to look at the menu, As long as you eat at home son"... i laughed so hard at this, and i'm pretty sure he wanted to make it obvious to "teach me some sort of lesson".

anyway thats my little bit of humor, not that anyone will probably care !

My family and I are going to Greek Town this weekend

Dad - "What do you normally get at Greek restaurants?"

Me - "I dunno, I look at the menu and it is all Greek to me."

When the waitress asked of we wanted to look at the desert menu or get the checks, I responded:

"In the spirit of this being a German restaurant, we'll take the Czechs!"

Me: ya that sandwich looks good and it comes with au jus.

Dad: Bless you.

He then casually looked back down at his menu and giggled at his joke

The menu says they have hand cut steaks. You know what that means, right?

looks at me without saying a word for a good 10 seconds

Those chefs must have sharp hands.

Edit: a word

Every time my dad goes to Wendy's he looks at the menu as if he is confused and asks "do you read the chicken their rights before you grill them?"

Every time.

Went out to town the other day to La Pizzeria

GF was looking at the menu and said: "I wonder how big the 10 inch pizza is"

Me: About 10 inches

Eyes were rolled.

I went out to Denny's and I was looking at the menu. Disgusted I had to tell everyone I had to order from the breakfast menu. They asked why and I told them because I am lack toast intolerant.

We were all sat down looking at the menu, when I announced "Did you know that this place is C.S. Lewis themed?"

Cue puzzled looks around the table.

"Yeah, it's like most Indian restaurants, only it's a bit naanier!"

Groans, facepalms and my wife going "oh TisteSimeon" under her breath. While I sit there and grin.

He picked up the menu for drinks and looked at it and said "This is too hard!" And then he said "I don't want to do this!" We all looked at him and he said "What? It's a whine menu!"

Probably about 20 years ago I was out to eat with my parents and the waitress came and asked if we were ready to order. As my dad was looking at the menu he said "I've got a question about the smothered chicken. Does smothering the chicken to death really make it taste better?"

Facepalms all around.

I deliver pizza for a living and I showed up at the door, as is my wont, with one hand holding the pizza bag and the other holding the receipt. On opening the door, I greeted the pater familia and told him the amount I was owed. He gave me the money and I handed him the receipt so I could free up my hands to pull the pizza out of the bag, saying offhandedly, "Here you go," indicating the receipt. The patriarch then looked at the menu bemusedly and remarked, "Hmm, seems a little light." It took me a little to figure out the joke was supposed to be that he thought the menu accompanying the receipt was the entire delivery.

On noticing my delayed reaction, the daughter of the house proceeded to put her hand to her face in a manner not unlike our dear Snoo at the top of this page. I've been delivering for two years now--that was easily the lamest, most Dad-like joke I have ever come across.