My husband asked me to label our new spice rack. I took creative liberties. reddit.com/gallery/j8u7w7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefoxclady
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Why does the Statue of Liberty wear a robe and not a T-shirt?

Well, with the extra β€œT” she would be a statute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatGuy4096
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I went to go see the liberty bell...

It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Why Did France Send Such a Large and Heavy Version of the Statue of Liberty to the USA?

Because it violated their statue of limitations.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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What do you do if a maths puzzle infringes on your civil liberties?

Sue-doku.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Do you know what the people who cracked the liberty bell deserve?

A no bell piece prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chippedreed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Life, Liberty, and the Prosciutto of Happiness
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesschechi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?

Because she can't lay down

(Old guy at work told me this today)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanotard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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I told my dad I was disappointed that the woman who tried to scale the statue of liberty only made it to the feet...

He said you call that a climbing defeat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guavacadus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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The last time I was inside a woman.....

I was visiting the Statue of Liberty. πŸ—½

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Why do Americans never knock?

Because freedom rings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrClash8738
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

....because freedom rings.

Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!

Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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A big thank you to "Dad jokes."

As a professional children's entertainer, finding the dad jokes thread has been a real blessing. I work mainly with children between the ages of four and eight, and, for obvious reasons, I need to keep my jokes clean. In my business, a groan is just as good as the laugh because it usually is accompanied by a smile!

I'm afraid I don't know who started it, but the "this paper says otherwise" is easily one of my favorites. I took the liberty of having 500 business cards that say "otherwise" on them. I use them in my performances in a variety of ways. If I see a dad after my show who looks like the type who might enjoy a good pun, I will go up to him and ask him if he thought the show was good. Inevitably he will say yes, and I'll tell him that "Unfortunately this card says otherwise." I then leave the dad with the card to use at his own behest.

Just wanted to give a big shout out and a big thank you to the Dad jokes community for inspiration. People ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm the Jimmy Fallon to five-year-olds. Thanks so much for contributing all you guys do!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Junglejimirish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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What kind of tea did the American Colonists want?

Liberty.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Wife is pregnant with our first child and she is already ahead of me.

The wife and I were at her appointment to see how our little man was cooking, all is well of course. As we were waiting for the doctor she had some paper work to fill out. She didn't want to fill it out so I took the liberty to fill out the form for her while asking her all the questions.

Me: "Marital status?"

Wife: "I think I'm married."

Me: "Race?" (As in ethnicity)

Wife: "I don't run."

I have some catching up to do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZLove92
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
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I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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