The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.
Sitting down having dinner with my wife and girls (1,3,4) and my three year old says “Do you know what my baby does?!” And she made her doll do a backflip on the table. And almost as if instinct, I said “well do you know what my baby does?! MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN...” and I hit them with the whole of Sheena Eastons song during dinner.
It was perfect.
After reading it, the authorities all agreed that it was a killer joke.
... can he then be accused of manslaughter?
It was manslaughter!
Yeah, especially when using the same recycled joke 50 million times.
I guess some people cant stand jokes
The ha-spital.
C
They are sigh-lent but Dadly.
the rest of the letters come aughter it.
I was guilty of Mans laughter.
Because they have no Seoul.
Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.
I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!
Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!
Unless it's 3 am in your house and you don't have children.
I guess laughter isn’t the best medicine.
Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.
so here goes...
(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)
daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?
me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?
daughter: elizabeth-gramma.
me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?
(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)
daughter: don't know, who?
me: my mum.
(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)
We are all doomed!
Me:Bob has no arms
Me:knock knock
Six year old: Who's there?
Me: not bob! (Cue laughter)
Six year old: bob who?...
Fuck it
It’s a rotten experience.
his jokes were so funny i started crying from laughter
i guess i have a sense of aqueous humor
"Get off my mother's grave, NOW!"
Bro 1: Anything happen while i was gone? Bro 2: (who thinks he can speak spanish) nada thing.
What are fish that star in movies called?
Starfish
How do you tuna fish?
Adjust their scales
What do you tell a fish when its overreacting?
You need to clam down
That's enough fish puns for today
We should scale back
Vehicular man’s laughter.
“That’s not mature is it”
Him: Did you hear about the famous scientist who was also a father and a cannibal?
Me: confused stare
Him: Thomas Ate-his-son.
In gigglewatts.
The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.
the rest of the letters come aughter it.
Vehicular man’s laughter.
