Latinize Puns

I have two favorite titles that are extremely clever puns.

“Shawn the Sheep” “Dexter”

“Shawn the Sheep” is a sly play on the dialect of the characters in the animation. “Shawn” and “shorn” have the same pronunciation in the dialect of the outskirts of Bristol, UK.

“Dexter” is a wonderful Latin pun. “Dexter” is the word for “right” and “Sinister” is the implied compliment, the word for “left” in Latin. Dexter is a series about a serial killer who only murders those guilty of crimes. His name in Latin implies he is the opposite of sinister, right or just.

Itenticle.

It’s just Roman around

He said he was peforming an eggcorism

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

MegaLodon.

But then declined.

They have a Latin common.

It wanted to be a Roman-tic

ETA: a

Because the Roman charges are too much!

She likes to rumba...

Greg or Ian

In other words, it's a misgnomer.

Tela Novela

I'm going to be sick.

Koitus interruptus.

Per

The bartender asks “Don’t you mean a martini?”

In response the Roman says “If I wanted a double I’d have asked for it!”

Sharkira

It became prime against all odds.

lil Ceasers

Sign language

She was wearing antlers for 'Saturnalia', and upon receiving a compliment for it, she said, "Thank you, I'm trying to branch out."

A reptile dysfunction

Teacher: Who was married to Julia, Julius Caesar's daughter? Class: Pompey Teacher: Yes and after his daughter died in childbirth, there was no family tie between Julius Caesar and Pompey and so became his enemy. Me: When she died in childbirth, did Julia have a Caesarean section? Teacher: lowers head and bangs on desk Why are you in my class?

Q: In latin, when pairing foods with the verb edo ("I eat"), what case should you use? A: The om-nom-nominative.

The bartender said, “don’t you mean a Martini?” I glared at him and said, “I only want one!”

.. then Soviet!

My dad called me to ask what classes I had signed up for. When I got to the Latin class I signed up for, he said, "Is that so you can talk to the girls in Latin America?" I hung up then and there.

Vici, vidi, veni

The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.

Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.

As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."

As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".

Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.

I waved at it as I walked by and replied "Bye-Biscus"

If her audible groan was not satisfaction enough, the amused chuckle of the older gentleman walking in the other direction certainly was.

[scene: me coming in the door]

My kids: "Dad, you're back!"

Me: "Yeah! And hey look... my front, too!"

Ah man... kills me every time. :-D

Going over the alphabet with my 3 year old and he asks "What's after Z?"

"What's after Z? Well, it's Now."

"Now?"

"Now I know my ABCs..."

"Not funny."

My wife groaned, and my 6 year old shook his head.