A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What's the most inappropriate shaolin animal kung fu style?

Dogstyle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afilipinoweeb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I met a Kung Fu master who has stayed in 30 yurts in the last 30 days

He's on a roundhouse kick.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyDabomb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What happens when Po from kung fu panda acts like a jerk?

He becomes a skadouchebag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phail64endo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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What do you call a kung-fu match between a married couple?

Marital Arts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungWilly2004
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What is the best kung fu vegetable?

Brocc Lee

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MSeigel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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What kind of beverage do kung Fu masters drink?

Wataaaaaaaaa!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KVsReddit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Kung Fu Panda shouldn’t have been set in China

He really belongs in Poland.

Courtesy: my 10 year old.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiFraggiPrutto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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What Did the Kung Fu Chicken Call His Master?

Hensei.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danieboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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What do you call a Kung fu vegetable?

What do you call a kung fu vegetable? Brock Lee!

(Brock Lee is said like broccoli)

I'd live to know if this is any good because I think this is a original?

How I came up with the joke (if you carrot all): I thought of it while eating broccoli and watching Naruto. (There is a character named Rock Lee and the joke soon came to light)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/entega
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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If you learned to do Kung Fu just one toe, would that be considered β€œTo-Fu”?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sj11792
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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I walked into an underemployed martial arts dojo today and offered my skills.

In no time, I was HI-YA'd!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecadet24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
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What is a bearded martial arts instructor's favorite bubble gum?

Kung Fu Man Chew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rideintips
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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My econ professor just hit us with a dad joke

Kid in the class: β€œoh you lived in Japan, do you know Kung fu?”

Professor: β€œno. I didn’t know Kung fu, but I knew his brother Harry”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SedatedAlpaca
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Having dinner out with my parents the waitress asks my dad, β€œyou wanna box?”

β€œNo but I know a little Kung Fu” used hand motions and everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaerfehtdeelb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
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Hibachi chefs practice Kung Food.

(I know Kung Fu is Chinese, but close enough for puns)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeckoDeLimon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2017
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Who is the best kung fu vegetable?

Brocc lee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZERO_Dementia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Who was the best Kung fu Vegetable?

Brocc Lee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArkLinux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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