HeyaSo as is tradition each year I post a little review of the 40k books I read last year. The link to my AOS books read is here, and for the handful (largely political and economic books) I read last year feel free to DM me!A quick note on what I count as a "book" - It needs to be on Goodreads, and cost over £5. If it's the price of a book, I get to count it as one!
The TLDR: Go read these books:Liber Xenologis, Brutal Kunnin, Mephiston Revenant Crusade, Soul Hunter, he First Heretic, Rites of Passage, Dredge Runners, Alpharius Head of the Hydra, The Twice Dead King, Malleus, and Hereticus!
- Fabius Bile: Primogenitor – Joshua Reynolds4/5A mad scientist attacks some elvesI love how this is different than other 40k novels. I don’t feel like I’m being pitched to buy specific minis; there’s a variety in cast and adversaries which are utilised to show multiple perspectives and desires.It’s well lauded so I wont dwell too much on it; but I certainly want to read the rest.
- The Devastation of Baal - Guy Haley4/5Arty vampires fight against biologically perfect space bugsI’ve given this a four out of kindness but if I was pushed I’d consider dropping it to a 3. This book reads like Haley desperately wanted to mimick Dune mixed with Zulu but without realising what makes these work. I love the attempt to discuss environmental materialism; but directly stating it every few pages is a little jarring once you notice the trend. The character stuff is great, though Mortarion feels a little flat compared to his own novels; as does Dante.Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of good here (namely the civilian scenes, and the perspective of the Tyranids, and Seth!) but it feels like a shadow of other books
- Avening Son – Guy Haley3/5The dawn of Guillemans new Imperium; a story of clerks, space marines, and historians.Again another odd rankng; it’s 3/5 because the actual plot is slow and the space marine segments are a little flat. But some sections are flawless. Offices being post-apocalyptic due to the nature of beurocracy? Perfect! The historian character was very interesting; although his arc (and other parts of the book) felt more like an echo of Heresy era books than anything else.With another edit this could have been 5/5
- Black Library Celebration 20214/5Mixed stories!Some really good stories; notably a 40k one about an unwilling cultist. This has stuck with
Revealed to me in a dream. Contains many spoilers. The Ordo Psykana will never recover from this. The Blood Ravens chapter were created in the Second Founding as continued prosecutors of Malcador's Silent War and the unspoken default arm of the Ordo Hereticus before it's official founding while being propagated from the purified geneseed of Ianius. From the Omnibus:
>The Blood Ravens were an ancient and profound organisation, and they were unusually well-connected within the various institutions of the Emperor's Imperium. The Sanctorium and its associated rites were a product of one such relationship. In many ways, the Blood Ravens' position within the networks and matrices of the Administratum was rivalled only by that of the legendary Imperial Fists. However, whilst the Fists could trace the origins of their political acumen all the way back to their once and great originator, the Primarch Rogal Dorn, the Blood Ravens had no real knowledge of their origins. The identity of their primarch had been lost or obscured in the records of history many millennia ago, and their place in the Imperium was now guaranteed only by their industry, labour and spirit, rather than resting on the laurels of a magnificent and half misremembered past.
As the events of the Heresy began to unfold while the Inquisition was being formed Malcador set about the foundations of the Grey Knights. During this time he saw the creation of Ianius a loyalist Thousand Son and Corvidae Cultist formerly known as Arvida that merged with a shard of Magnus the Red's soul. The resulting astartes was said to posses all the traits of what The Crimson King should have been and later became the first Grand Master of the Grey Knights known as Janus. In the Emperor's time in the Imperial Dungeon performing his secret projects he's known to have personally crafted the gene seed of the Grey Knights, known as the Emperor's Gift, before Horus made his move on the throne. I believe this to be the case only because his initial experimentation with Ianius' purified geneseed proved to be unfit for the task. But why would the Emperor be experimenting with Ianius' in the first place other than as an attempt to find some other way to spare Malcador his ultimate fate. The Primogenitor of the Blood Ravens is none other than Ianius with his geneseed being propagated by the Emperor and passed onto the Custodes for keeping until it could bear fruit at the appropriate time.
I believe this to have been performed i
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Imperium ascendant is a fanfic where Emperor gets a chance to have "another go" at creating Imperium (or rather sends message through time to his younger self about misatkes he made). This includes revealing truth about chaos to humanity before even great crusade starts. To do that, Emperor allowed chaos cult grow on Luna and when they lashed out against Imperium in its infancy, they were crushed and used as example to teach humanity what chaos represents and why it is so dangerous.
>At the Emperor's command, the elite of the Sol System had been gathered. Generals, Governors, Dignitaries, and more had come to the heart of the Imperium. The Great Chamber of the Senatorum Imperialis. An unfinished edifice to Imperial rule. That one day would hold the Emperors Court. For now, it had been cleared of equipment and served as an amphitheater for its master.
>
>In the center of the great structure stood the Emperor, a dazzling light on a podium of gold and adamantium. Floating above and a bit behind him, on a set of grav-platforms was a massive container of black metal. Iterators and Remembrancer scurried through the audience, hoping to catch every moment for documentation and inspiration. All twenty Primarchs and the Emperor's Inner circle were seated around the podium. Facing out and looking into the audience. A wall of superhumans separating the Emperor from his subjects.
>
>At the appointed time the hall quieted, hundreds of thousands silencing themselves out of respect for the Emperor. He had summoned them all here to teach humanity. To explain the threat of Chaos and why humanity must fight. The Emperor began his speech, which would echo across the ages and be known to humanity for eons to come. To each member of the audience, the words were different. The message filtered through perceptions of authority and power. Even so, the message was heard and understood.
>
>A terrible truth of the Cosmos was unveiled, the Neverborn. Sentient Warp-Predators feeding off insanity and worship. Four false-gods who sought to devour everything in their insatiable hunger for life. How the storms that cut apart the ancient human Empire was the result of the youngest gods birth. That the reason psykers went insane and unleashed evil was these monsters.
>
>The Emperor explained how the Four sought to enslave humanity, turn us into cattle or worse like so many other Xenos.
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Increasingly so, there is a growing pile of evidence that describes the Primarchs as Warp Gods given physical form, as shown here, here, here, here and here
While this pile of evidence might seem anachronistic with the flavor of the setting, namely the assemblage and annihilation of gigantic formations of guns and steel, recent releases such as Mortis and GodBlight have pushed the agenda that the metaphysical nature of the Warp is more than just a backdrop for one's "own dudes". In fact, this very metaphysical nature has laid the foundation for the general direction of which the setting is heading towards, and is doubly so regarding the identities and fates of the Emperor's 20 failed science experiments. In fact, I believe that it's this very warp identity that served as the primary cause for which the lost Primarchs were purged from Imperial records. For once the cat was out of the box, the Imperium would've otherwise realized that the Emperor was just another "Witch-king" from the nightmares of Old Night and that the core ideals of the Great Crusade were nothing more than a means to an end.
To begin, it's important to understand what is known about the Lost Primarchs themselves. Shown below is an excerpt showing the clearest and most direct reference to the lost ones, and why they were purged from Imperial history.
>***'I knew them.'*** Dorn took another step towards the doors, silently reaching for deep memories of the two brothers. Not all the primarchs could say they had breathed the same air as the lost sons, but Dorn was one of the few. He had been with them, if only for a while.
>
>***'Have you ever wondered why none speak of them?'*** the Sigillite replied. 'Of course, there is the censure over all who know of the lost never to talk openly of their existence. Still, in the absence of fact all men will speculate. But you do not. ***The primarchs never speak of their lost kinsmen in anything but the vague
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
I just came across an account of the endowment from 1854 and thought that some might be interested: It comes from Mormonism: Its Leaders and Designs pp 90-99. My summary is at the bottom.
>On Friday, February 10, 1854, pursuant to notice I had received, with no other instructions than to wear a clean shirt, myself and wife went to the Council House, Salt Lake City, at about seven o'clock in the morning. About thirty persons were previously waiting there, who were to be " endowed from on high" that day. Our names, with full particulars of birth, marriage, etc., were all registered in a record; our tithing-office receipts examined, because, before hearing the music, it is first necessary to " pay the piper." All those who had not been previously sealed to their wives, were then sealed by Heber C. Kimball, who has under his peculiar direction the giving of the endowment, and we were ushered into a long room which was divided into many little compartments by white screens. All was solemn and hushed. Our shoes had to be removed in the outer register office, those who were officiating were in slippers, and the few words spoken in giving directions were only in a dim murmur. The women were sent to one portion of the place, the men to another. All was still; the simmer of the wood in the stove made quite a painful impression on the nerves. The novelty of the situation, the uncertainty and expectation of what was to follow, the perfect stillness heightened by the murmuring whispers, the dull splash of water, the listening and serious faces, the white screens themselves, every thing was calculated to excite the superstitious in any one. One by one the men were beckoned out till it was my turn. I was told to undress, and was then laid down in an ordinary tin bath, which I remember was painted inside and out; a Dr. Sprague — who, in passing, is one of the filthiest-minded men I ever met-was officiating as “washer," which ceremony consisted of washing one all over in tepid water, and blessing each member as he proceeded, from the head downward: ''brain to be strong, ears to be quick to hear the words of God's servants, eyes to be sharp to perceive," nose, mouth, arms, hands, breasts, with the peculiar blessing appropriate to each, down to the " feet to be swift to run in the ways of righteousness." Washed, and pronounced ''clean from the blood of this generation," I was handed over to Parley P. Pratt, who was seated in a corner, and appointed to give to each "cl
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[Removed]
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
There hasn't been a post all year!
