Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 02 2022
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
Geddit? No? Only me?
π︎ 6k
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︎ Dec 28 2021
I wanna hear your best airplane puns.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
E or Γ?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
No spoilers
π︎ 9k
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︎ Jan 06 2022
These aren't dad jokes...
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Dec 15 2021
What did 0 say to 8 ?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.
I won't be doing that today!
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 27 2021
The Ancient Romans II
π︎ 6k
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︎ Dec 29 2021
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?
You take away their little brooms
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
It this sub dead?
There hasn't been a post all year!
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jan 01 2022
School Was Clothed
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Jan 01 2022
Spi__
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
Baka!
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
Couch potato
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
concrete πΏ
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Dec 25 2021
Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?
After all his first name is No-vac
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
Thatβs Michelle
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
Is this sub still active?
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
My WIFI password is 2444666668888888
Just to clarify, 12345678
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
I named my dog "5 miles."
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
Possibly the greatest Snap Reaction dad joke I've ever told (it even got me a POWERFUL groan and vehement FU from my wife)
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!"
Her: "What the hell does that mean?!"
Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
Guns
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
The two genders
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 27 2021
If βwombβ is pronounced βwoomβ and βtombβ is pronounced βtoomβ then shouldnβt βbombβ be pronouncedβ¦
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 24 2021
A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!" I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!" He replied, "I don't know."
"That's what they're fighting about."
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
I like my coffee how I like my slaves
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 17 2021
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard?
Because his Visa didnβt work.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
AP Courses to take together or subsequently?
So I realized after a few months of taking 6 APs how some of them have overlapping concepts. Like particle motion in calc AB coupled with Physics 1 kinematics makes me glad I took them together since I have a better understanding of both now. I've also heard that people who take or have taken AP Lang do better on APUSH writing questions in general.
What are your experiences in AP Courses that pair well together?
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 18 2021
I couldnβt rush more than this to post it!
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
It seems that she has got a bounty on her head
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 30 2021
I asked my daughter, "If thereβs a bee in my hand, whatβs in my eye?" Rolling her eyes, she said, "I give up. What?"
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
What's the opposite of a croissant?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
Happy moo year! !
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 02 2022
My sonβs fourth birthday was today, but when he came to see me I didnβt recognize him at first.
Iβd never seen him be 4.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 04 2022
This just in from my daughter: What do you live in if you live in Antarctica?
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud πππ
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?" I pondered for a while and replied...
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 24 2021
As i child i was forced to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog...
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
Why is 6 afraid of 7 (this punchline is actually different)?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
True love is...
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 30 2021
My wife and I always fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper roll, so our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Jan 10 2022
Bet you didnβt see that one coming
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 01 2022
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