what did the grumpy British man use to scare kids off his lawn?

A "sod off" shotgun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ws1173
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2022
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Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!

And now The Cure is no longer necessary!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Dad Joke in 90s British Kids Show youtube.com/watch?feature…
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2013
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4yo asks: What if I really was an ant?

During dinner, I compared how Son #2 [4yo] was eating his spaghetti to an anteater. This sparked the following conversation.

Son #2: "What if I really was an ant?"

Son #1 [7yo]: "Then you wouldn't really eat very much spaghetti. Ants eat just a little because they're so small."

Me: "Well, did you know it's pretty likely that, eventually, your sister will grow up to be an aunt?"

Daughter [5yo]: "What?"

Me: "Yeah, all it'll take is for one of you boys to have a kid. Then, she'll turn into an aunt."

[Kids look confused. Son #1 has worked out the pun, is rolling eyes.]

Wife: "He's right. We helped do it to Auntie Leah."

[It clicks.]

Daughter: "Oooooh, Daaad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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