A list of puns related to "Kenji Mizoguchi"
Does anyone know who has can release their films in Region B currently? I only found Mizoguchi's titles on a French publisher, but as usually, they only have French subtitles
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So far I've seen; Osaka Elegy, Sister of the Gion and The Story of the Last Chrysanthemums.
His mise-en-scene is excellent, the performances are great and the narratives are beautifully rendered; still, the majority of his films didn't evoke much more than a distant sense of appreciation (Sister of the Gion has been my favourite so far). There's something about his formal preoccupations which makes much of his melodrama seem cold and clinical; so many scenes are shot in a single, distant long-take, but the framing and compositions rarely suggest anything meaningful about character (IMO) There's moments scattered throughout each film which I've adored, hoping his later work will click with me more.
Does anyone else feel similar? Or is Mizoguchi just not going to be my kind of director?
So, I picked Kenji Mizoguchi because I wanted more international directors and I know he has a lot of fans. I've only seen 2 of his movies, back in college, and I remember close to nothing about both. So... discuss away, FG!
If thereโs a filmmaker you want to see in these discussions, just make a suggestion either here in the comments or PM me.
The Directors Discussion will be posted on Mondays. I have a series of lists that will be alternating with the Directors Discussion. So weโll have a Directors post on Monday and one of the new lists on Thursday. Hope you enjoy!
Join us for Monday's Directors Discussion: Sofia Coppola
Iโve seen most of the important ones by now. My personal ranking:
Post your rankings!
Amazon doesn't have it, but Criterion.com does.
##Episode #9: Letโs All Think About What We Can Do
#This issssssss the secret of my Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife
###Comments of the Day
/u/Star4ce delivered a sermon of a post that I encourage everyone to go back and read. This is a snippet of his fascinating analysis.
> โThe missing innocent ignorance of childhood, the absence of direction, the dwelling in memories, the overcompensation, the manipulative scheming, the being overburdened with your surroundings. It happens when a child clings to a few incomplete aspects of guidance from their parents, but is being left alone to figure it out. There is a need to see value in the past, so many children will even defend obviously harmful acts because doing anything else would mean that the one set of persons that they trust the most and should be uncompromisingly, selflessly loving towards them are simply not. And that carries the implication that they, in return, were never worth this compassion and trust.โ
/u/ToastyMozart just comes out and says it! > โMore protagonists should be willing to respond to the suggestion of going for a "losing everything new, reset back to the way it all started but for the lessons learned along the way" full circle ending with "I'd like to see you try."
/u/andybebad picked up on an uncanny resemblance.
> โAm I the only one internally referring to the chief priest as โShrine Jesusโ? I mean, come on, that character design doesn't seem exactly randomโ
###Production Notes
Todayโs episode was directed by the same fella who directed episode 5 Junji Shimuzu! If you would like to know more about this man, you can check out the Production Notes on episode 5. The exciting news is that Rie Matsumoto is back on the storyboards for today and tomorrowโs episodes!
At this point weโve been introduced to the series director, the episode directors, the character designer, the color designer, some of the storyboarders, a major animation director, a few of the key animators, and the composer but who exactly was the creator of this show? A quick cursory glance at Wikipedia will reveal the name of [Izumi Todo](https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/people.ph
... keep reading on reddit โกAll Airtimes E.S.T.
SAT 01
(1:45AM) Shadow of the Thin Man (1941/1h 37m/Suspense/Mystery/Major W. S. Van Dyke II)
(3:30AM) The Thin Man Goes Home (1945/1h 40m/Mystery/Richard Thorpe)
(5:15AM) Song of the Thin Man (1947/1h 26m/Mystery/Edward Buzzell)
(7:00AM) The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Story (1950/56m/Short/Herman Hoffman)
(8:00AM) Poultry Pirates (1938/9m/Animation/I. Freleng)
(8:10AM) Goofy Movies Number One (1933/8m/Short/Jules White)
(8:19AM) Victoria and Vancouver: Gateways to Canada (1936/8m/Short/Benjamin D. Sharpe)
(8:28AM) Rustlers (1949/1h 1m/Western/Lesley Selander)
(9:30AM) BATMAN: Robin's Ruse (1949/16m/Serial/Spencer Gordon Bennet.
(10:00AM) POPEYE: The Fly's Last Flight (1949/6m/Animation/Seymour Kneitel)
(10:08AM) Bowery Buckaroos (1947/1h 6m/Comedy/William Beaudine)
(11:30AM) Seeing Red (1939/18m/Short/Roy Mack)
(12:00PM) Fiddler on the Roof (1971/3h/Musical/Norman Jewison)
(3:15PM) A Face in the Crowd (1957/2h 6m/Drama/Elia Kazan)
(5:30PM) Twelve O'Clock High (1949/2h 12m/War/Henry King)
(8:00PM) Penny Serenade (1941/2h 5m/Romance/George Stevens)
(10:00PM) Children of a Lesser God (1986/1 hr 59m/Drama/Randa Haines)
SUN 02
(12:30AM) Repeat Performance (1947/1h 33m/Film-Noir/Alfred Werker)
(2:30AM) It Should Happen to You (1953/1h 26m/Comedy/George Cukor)
(4:15AM) Born Yesterday (1950/1h 43m/Comedy/George Cukor)
(6:00AM) Old Acquaintance (1943/1h 50m/Drama/Vincent Sherman)
(8:00AM) Adam's Rib (1949/1h 41m/Comedy/George Cukor)
(10:00AM) Repeat Performance (1947/1h 33m/Film-Noir/Alfred Werker)
(12:00PM) Romeo and Juliet (1937/2h 7m/Romance/George Cukor)
(2:15PM) The More the Merrier (1943/1h 44m/Comedy/George Stevens)
(4:15PM) Light in the Piazza (1962/1h 41m/Romance/Guy Green)
(6:15PM) My Favorite Year (1982/1h 32m/Comedy/Richard Benjamin)
(8:00PM) How Green Was My Valley (1941/1h 58m/Drama/John Ford)
(10:15PM) The Corn Is Green (1945/1h 54m/Drama/Irving Rapper)
Mon 03
(12:30AM) The Three Musketeers (1921/1h 50m/Adventure/Fred Niblo)
(2:45AM) My Journey Through French Cinema (2016/3h 15m/Documentary/Bertrand Tavernier)
(6:30AM) Letter from Siberia (
... keep reading on reddit โกItalicized parentheses indicate my notes explaining something (mostly Japanese-specific language and references), while regular parentheses were already there in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I got most of them, but there are a couple of characters who I think had current concerns (such as Shimada and Takinoue) that I couldn't find, so feel free to fill me in on any I may have missed!
Pre-timeskip
Person | Team/Affiliation | Concern |
---|---|---|
Akimiya Noboru | Ougiminami | He's been mistaken for a middle schooler. |
Amanai Kanoka | Niiyama Girl's | My serve receive isnโt really improving, and Iโm very conscious of how Iโm bad at hitting straights, and my shyness canโt be cured, and alsoโฆ (The rest is omitted). |
Aone Takanobu | Date Tech | When heโs riding the train, nobody wants to sit on either side of him. |
Azumane Asahi | Karasuno | When he tells people he's a student no one believes him, first years are afraid of him, girls in his class say things like "Even though he looks the way he does, he's kinda weak" and then get themselves disappointed, his future plans, also his future plans, the captain being scary...(cut for length). |
Ennoshita Chikara | Karasuno | Even when he's really fired up, people tell him he looks sleepy. |
Futakuchi Kenji | Date Tech | He has to go and get his wisdom teeth pulled. |
Goshiki Tsutomu | Shiratorizawa | Wants to be able to hit a sharper cross. |
Hanamaki Takahiro | Aoba Johsai | No matter how hard he tries, he can't beat Iwaizumi at arm wrestling. |
Hinata Shลyล | Karasuno | He can't catch a ball one-handed. |
Hyakuzawa Yลซdai | Kakugawa | Receives are difficult. |
Ikejiri Hayato | Tokonami | Future plans & stuff... |
Irihata Nobuteru | Aoba Johsai (Coach) | The fact that he's developed a bit of a belly bothers him, but he can't give up on the beer. |
Iwaizumi Hajime | Aoba Johsai | โJust 1cm moreโฆ or 7mm, at leastโฆ!โ (In regard to his height.) |
Kageyama Tobio | Karasuno | He gets the feeling that animals dislike him. |
Kamasaki Yasushi | Date Tech | How many "packs" of abs is it possible to have?! |
Kawanishi Taichi | Shiratorizawa | "My allergies may be acting up..." |
Kawatabi Shunki | Wakutani Minami | He gets nervous visiting his local convenience store because the old man who usually works there has been replaced by a cute girl. |
Kindaichi Yลซtarล | Aoba Johsai | Girls in his class said that "Kindaichi-kun seems more 'lanky' than 'tall', right?" |
Koganegawa Kanji | Date Tech | He can't pull off dump shots in a way that looks cool. |
Kunimi Akira | Aoba Johsai | "Staying awake du |
Director : Kenji Mizoguchi
In Ugetsu, two sets of families in 1600s Japan are displaced during a civil war. The husbands of both saw the war as an opportunity to get wealthy and improve their social standing. One is a pot maker and the other is someone with ambitions to become a samurai. Both of them set off to the city. After coming back, the pot maker makes some good money, enough to buy his wife a kimono and now wants more. The other sees the samurai but couldn't become one because he lacks the background for it and because he doesn't have armor and a spear. They both got a taste of what they wanted and now want more. However, the wifes both warn them that they are wanting too much and that they should focus on being careful with the war going on.
Not heeding the warning, the pot maker makes more pots and the other joins in, wanting enough money to buy armor and a spear. But before they could set off, some soldiers attack their village and they are forced to escape. They manage to come back and get back to their original plan to sell more pots. They go on boat and come across another boat with a man on the verge of death telling them about pirates and to go back with his final breath. It's very ominous but still the husbands insist on going, again against the warning of their wives.
The movie's main theme is pretty well said by one of the characters, "Success always comes with a price in suffering". The two men of the household are blinded by their ambitions and try to take advantage of the chaos of war. They forget what's important to them in the process. The women end up going through alone trying to survive while being constantly hunted, abused and taken advantage of with no one to protect them.
The atmosphere depicting all of this is excellent with some supernatural parts as well that use really good use of lighting, fog, and music to make everything seem ominous. You can really feel the dreamlike states in one scene and then a quick transition to a more horrific, down to earth scene.
It's been some time since I watched an older movie but this was really excellent. The themes were explored well with a good ending showcasing the rise and fall of the characters and the aftermath. Atmosphere added to it immensely as well with some stand out scenes still in my head. Definitely recommend it.
Below is an excerpt from my Master's Thesis and is by no means an authoritative text for anything comprehensive.
First, I will discuss common tropes of yลซrei and how they differ from their Western counterparts. There are often two depictions of ghosts in the West, the more childish description of a white figure in something akin to a sheet and a shape more like a potato than a human. The second is that of a human who is either unable to accept they have died or died in a way so tragic they remain earthbound.
There are different types of yลซrei that I will discuss later, but the most common depiction and the depiction we will be concerned with the most for this paper are women. Yลซrei depicted as women often have long stringy hair.
The depiction of yลซrei with long disheveled hair might suggest freedom from societal norms and synonymously symbolize a state of independence where the patriarchy had no jurisdiction. Through this lens, one can begin to see how the imagination was free to play with what a scorned woman might do with newfound freedom.
They often wear a white kimono folded right-to-left rather than left-over-right, limp hands. In some instances, a triangular headdress indicates earlier Buddhist funerary practices. However, what gives a yลซrei its โcreepy factorโ are the tiny balls of energy known as hitodama (ไบบ้ญ), which are associated with ghostly energy and the soul, and an incomplete form with no feet and cannot touch the ground.
Further, ghosts in the Western tradition have more flexible natures; Hogwarts' friendly ghosts seem in stark contrast to the angry spirits found in the film A Haunting in Connecticut. Yet, both dialectical interpretations of ghosts do not damage their archetype. While some Japanese ghost stories are similar, the yลซrei is less flexible when compared to its Western Counterpart.
Unlike their western counterparts, the yลซrei obeys specific rules; as Zack Davisson notes in his book Yลซrei: The Japanese Ghost,
>Yลซrei, on the other hand, follow certain rules, obey certain laws. They are bound by centuries of culture and tradition.
In the West, we do not often think of categories of ghosts, but that is a concept one needs to understand for this paper's purposes. Because Japan is an island, there are a host of maritime ghosts associated with shipwrecks known as funayลซrei (่นๅนฝ้ or ่ๅนฝ้). There are yลซrei associated places or circumstances known as jibakurei (ๅฐ็ธ้). Also, some women were recently made mothers and d
... keep reading on reddit โกLooking for great Japanese movies from the 30s, 40s, 50, 60s. Haven't watched anything from that time period, but plan to do so, hence the request. I now about Akira Kurosawa, Kenji Mizoguchi, Shohei Imamura and Yasujiro Ozu. I haven't watched any movie made by them, but their movies seem to be great. I am especially looking forward to the works by Kurosawa.
Any other movies you can recommend or specific ones by those four I've mentioned?
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Bought most of these at a Fnac (local Best Buy). None of these have English subs apart from le Cercle Rouge, but fortunately I speak French. Was hoping to pick up more French stuff but prices weren't great so I may place an order later, once The Servant is out on 4K
Hey everyone, great to be back again. Some of you might remember a similar title from a post I made back in April, where I made a list of the top 250 movies with 13 sources, or a preview of this list I made last month.
I want to emphasize that this is NOT an official ranking nor my personal ranking; it is just a statistical and, personally, interesting look at 500 amazing movies. These rankings reflect the opinions of thousands of critics and millions of people around the world. And I am glad that this list is able to cover a wide range of genres, decades, and countries. So before I get bombarded with "Why isn't X on here?" or "How is X above Y?" comments, I wanted to clear that up.
I sourced my data from Sight & Sound (both critic and director lists), TSPDT, iCheckMovies, 11 domestic websites (Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic, IMDb, Letterboxd, TMDb, Trakt, Blu-Ray, MovieLens, RateYourMusic, Criticker, and Critics Choice), and 9 international audience sites (FilmAffinity, Douban, Naver, MUBI, Filmweb, Kinopoisk, CSFD, Moviemeter, and Senscritique). This balance of domestic/international ratings made the list more well-rounded and internationally representative (sites from Spain, China, Korea, Poland, Russia, Czech Republic, Netherlands, and France).
As for my algorithm, I weighted websites according to both their Alexa ranking and their number of votes compared to other sites. For example, since The Godfather has hundreds of thousands of votes on Letterboxd but only a couple thousand on Metacritic, Letterboxd would be weighted more heavily. After obtaining the weighted averages, I then added the movie's iCheckMovies' favs/checks ratio and TSPDT ranking, if applicable. Regarding TSPDT, I included the top 2000 movies; as an example of my calculations, Rear Window's ranking of #41 would add (2000-41)/2000=0.9795 points to its weighted average. I removed movies that had <7-8K votes on IMDb, as these mostly had low ratings and numbers of votes across different sites as well. For both Sight & Sound lists, I added between 0.5 and 1 point to a movie's score based on its ranking, which I thought was an adequate reflection of how difficult it is
... keep reading on reddit โกI don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when itโs raining in Sweden?
Ants donโt even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
It could be the best run in terms of anything
Howard Hawks: Bringing Up Baby, Only Angels Have Wings, Scarface, Viva Villa!,The Criminal Code, The Dawn Patrol, The Crowd Roars, Today We Live, Tiger Shark, Barbary Coast, Twentieth Century, Come and Get It, The Road to Glory, and Ceiling Zero.
John Ford: Arrowsmith, The Informer, Stagecoach, Young Mr. Lincoln, Drums Along the Mohawk, Men Without Women, The Brat, Up the River, Born Reckless, Seas Beneath, Flesh, Air Mail, The Whole Town's Talking, The World Moves On, The Lost Patrol, Pilgrimage, Judge Priest, Doctor Bull, Steamboat Round the Bend, The Prisoner of Shark Island, Mary of Scotland, Wee Willie Winkie, The Plough and the Stars, Four Men and a Prayer, The Hurricane, and Submarine Patrol.
Alfred Hitchcock: The Lady Vanishes, The 39 Steps,Mary, Murder!, Sabotage, Number Seventeen, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Rich and Strange, Waltzes from Vienna, Juno and the Paycock, Elstree Calling, The Skin Game, Jamaica Inn, Young and Innocent, and Secret Agent.
Fritz Lang: M, Fury, The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, You Only Live Once, Liliomm, and You and Me.
Jean Renoir: The Rules of the Game, La Grande Illusion, Toni, Partie de campagne, The Crime of Monsieur Lange, La Bรชte Humaine, La Marseillaise, Chotard and Company, Madame Bovary, The Bitch, Boudu Saved from Drowning, On purge bรฉbรฉ, Night at the Crossroads, Life Belongs to Us, and The Lower Depths.
Michael Curtiz: Captain Blood, The Adventures of Robin Hood, Angels with Dirty Faces, Sons of Liberty, Four Daughters, The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex, Dodge City, Black Fury, Jimmy the Gent, Kid Galahad, British Agent, Front Page Woman, Mystery of the Wax Museum, The Kennel Murder Case, Doctor X, The Mad Genius, The Cabin in the Cotton, 20,000 Years in Sing Sing, Goodbye Again, Four Wives, Daughters Courageous, Gold Is Where You Find It, Four's a Crowd, Little Big Shot, Stolen Holiday, The Strange Love of Molly Louvain, Private Detective 62, Alias the Doctor, Mammy, Under a Texas Moon, River's End, God's Gift to Women, The Matrimonial Bed, A Soldier's Plaything, Bright Lights, The Woman from Monte Carlo, Female, The Keyhole, Mandalay, Mandalay, The Kennel Murder Case, Jimmy the Gent, The Case of the Curious Bride, Black Fury, The Charge of the Light Brigade, The Perfect Specimen, Mountain Justice, and The Walking Dead.
Frank Capra: It Happened One Night, You Can't Take It with You, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, Lost Horizon, Bro
... keep reading on reddit โกThey were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
I was never happy with existing top lists. IMDb is too much about popularity, mubi however can be too elitist when it comes to popular films. In my opinion, that is. So what if you combine the platforms to create a "Canon" made by the Internet?
As of now, I calculated the average of 744 directors.
How: The average of mubi, IMDb and letterboxd, but only the best five. For every film depending on its rating, the average got some points plus (6.6-7.4: +0.005, 7.6-8.4: +0.01 etc.. And some other minor things like each short film rated 7.6+ gets 0.1.
Why five films? For many reasons; mainly that there are many directors who made tons of films for financial reasons and some truly for art's sake, or just were not liked many times, and the purpose here is not to observe them at their worst, but at their best.
I made it for directors, but simultaneously made a list with the best rated films (in the top ten are Godfather, Harakiri, Godfather 2, The Human Condition 3, Seven Samurai, Pulp Fiction, Satantango, 12 Angry Men, The Shawshank Redemption, Come and See).
Anyway: Here it is. It can never be completed, but I think it's a great orientation.
I also included their respective best rated film.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Best Run in terms of anything
Alfred Hitchcock: Vertigo, Rear Window, North by Northwest, Strangers on a Train, To Catch a Thief, Dial M for Murder, I Confess, Stage Fright, The Trouble with Harry, The Man Who Knew Too Much, and The Wrong Man.
Nicholas Ray: In a Lonely Place, Rebel Without a Cause, Bigger Than Life, Johnny Guitar, Bitter Victory, Macao, On Dangerous Ground, Party Girl, The Lusty Men,Run for Cover, The True Story of Jesse James, The Racket, Flying Leathernecks, Born to Be Bad, Androcles and the Lion, Hot Blood, and Wind Across the Everglades.
Ingmar Bergman: The Seventh Seal, Smiles of a Summer Night, Wild Strawberries, Dreams, Summer Interlude, A Lesson in Love, The Magician, Secrets of Women, Summer with Monika, Sawdust and Tinsel, Brink of Life, To Joy, and This Can't Happen Here.
Billy Wilder: Sunset Boulevard, Sabrina, Some Like It Hot, Stalag 17, Witness for the Prosecution, The Seven Year Itch, Ace in the Hole, Love in the Afternoon, and The Spirit of St. Louis.
Fred Zinnemann: From Here to Eternity, High Noon, The Men, Oklahoma!, The Nun's Story, A Hatful of Rain, The Old Man and the Sea, Teresa, and The Member of the Wedding.
George Stevens: Shane, Giant, A Place in the Sun, The Diary of Anne Frank, and Something to Live For.
John Huston: The Asphalt Jungle, The African Queen, The Red Badge of Courage, Moby Dick, Beat the Devil, The Barbarian and the Geisha, Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison, The Roots of Heaven, and Moulin Rouge.
Elia Kazan: On the Waterfront, A Streetcar Named Desire, East of Eden, Panic in the Streets, Baby Doll, A Face in the Crowd, Viva Zapata!, and Man on a Tightrope.
William Wyler: Ben Hur, Roman Holiday, The Big Country, Friendly Persuasion, Carrie, Detective Story, and The Desperate Hours.
Otto Preminger: The Man with the Golden Arm, Anatomy of a Murder, Where the Sidewalk Ends, The 13th Letter, Angel Face, The Moon Is Blue, Carmen Jones, Bonjour Tristesse, Porgy and Bess, Saint Joan, The Court-Martial of Billy Mitchell, and Die Jungfrau auf dem Dach.
Federico Fellini: La Strada, Nights of Cabiria, I Vitelloni, Il bidone, The White Sheik, and Variety Lights.
Robert Wise: The Day the Earth Stood Still, Destination Gobi, This Could Be the Night, Run Silent, Run Deep, I Want to Live!, Odds Against Tomorrow, Executive Suite, Two Flags West, Somebody Up There Likes Me, The Desert Rats, So Big, and House on Telegraph Hill.
Fritz Lang: The Big Heat, Clash by Night, House by the River, American Guerrilla in
... keep reading on reddit โกFor context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐
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