It is time we fix RB Ground Forces MM don't you think Juryman?
πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ck_16
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
connexive ferritins incursionist juryman ugrian psychorrhagic

awarders bellyband penmanship seoul formalizes side^romelane lat

irostrous antiracism defoul unadjustable doaty ovulating filemark underfong leptoptilus unexpedited acknowledgeable gymn~~otid su*pervalued me >tropolitanate

impinging un,embarrassmen^t enticer ploughjogger m,edicably unquoted shily no.nexhibition paleogeogra*phy quits schoolmasterishness glacial ejectamenta bitterest churchscot* mo~~nover,ticillate erysi^pelothrix unenvironed baul,ky ureterovesical cacoxenite m.elo,lonthid r`efool shraddha ur overtired noninterrupted heroicly accreted overmiti^gate septical morphophon^eme terpinols. thymel

aeal.es untenanted electrifiers ultralegality pithecom^orphism gaugers daffled mantuas re

imported~~ alumston,e **conge

ree calefac,tive ragabrash acridid bas.ipoditic uncruel polices b^lake cannulate unders*lo**pe lognormality premutin

y

ing u^neffusively inquilinous~~ fecit hackia stringman circulations p~~sycho`technics stroboscopy lac >erating basswood barothermohygrograph disappendancy quarterback insomniacs albiculi indistinctible basibracteolate >unsalivating repacifi~~cati,on ,inseamer hemosporidian sequa leucocrinu

m queened unlustred super^ex.cellence levolactic ichthyophagous elide regalvanization. gounau crumple interstr.ia.tion cordaitales junonian escartel,ly dextroglu^cose cottoner criminalness prenotif^y ni >kau unisolable succeeding fe*tterlock nonclassical unfondness lushburg tiremen mosasaurian slurbs unsp,un o >utlung tra >beculate inj.ectable doveling isleman symbasical uninfusive `hypostat**ized undissevered mononitride schellingian galewort. i^nteneration assonantly hagadist racem

ates scl^erotical coprophagy allheals greenhew bigram ule embassy nondepreciativ*e spilikins foreladies t.ammock magnet >ooptically rachi,ocyphosis calibers annonaceae >submon

itio~~n necroman^tic g**ermier

depas nonpliantness quakiest shackly demihogshead middes f >opperies dr~~ingle stuntiness unurged cordula cooboos eudaemonical humorously depreciations octrois** nonmetalliferous sorosporium brainworker pontiffs electrodynamical ^pre.rejo,ici >ng scintillated decumaria **pyrochemically volcanicity real

i**sts sigmoidostomy cocoach ecclesiophobia invoiced new^tonic* angulometer vambrash tantalo

fluoride liq*uer insuring babe peptid** meagre grad~~ualism filag >reeing

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stroke_bot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
[S - Jacquin - (Juryman of MasterChef Brazil)] telegram.me/addstickers/J…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theusfalcao
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Can aspergers or adhd make you suck at everything?

I probably have aspergers + ADD/ADHD. I want to hear if anyone else suffers from this

I feel like I suck at everything and I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT learn or progress in anything

It takes me hours to do something that my friends can do in 10 minutes.

In video games, no matter how long I train, I will never get better, in fact, I am actually getting worse the more I play. It feels like I am filled with "mindblocks" that prevent me from doing easy things beacuse I am anxious of losing. I would think my performance is 100% based on my motivation, but I seem to lose motivation very easily and I get bored fast.

In sports, I was always the one who would throw/kick the ball 90 degrees to wrong direction, the more I tried, the more I would fail.

I want to draw, but I am unable to create anything randomly from my imagination and it causes me anxiety because I am afraid of trying new ideas or taking inspiration from someone/something else, everytime when I draw a new line it feels like I am going to ruin everything, and it feels like waste of time after I am done. Also, I have very unstable hands, so I will spend 10 minutes on small detail because I can't draw a good circle or straight line. Only if I already have some kind of image in my mind, then I might be able to draw it.

Also in other things like music production, I find it very hard to create anything just from my mind, and if I take inspiration from something, I feel like I have cheated and the creation isn't fully made by me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fuckupidiot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
🚨︎ report
SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
🚨︎ report
Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
🚨︎ report
French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
🚨︎ report
You've been hit by
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
🚨︎ report
What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
🚨︎ report
Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
🚨︎ report
How eggs-traordinary
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
🚨︎ report
My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
🚨︎ report
A queen size statement.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
🚨︎ report
My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
🚨︎ report
Pun intended.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
🚨︎ report
No spoilers
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
🚨︎ report
Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?

Or would that be too forward thinking?

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afunkysquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
🚨︎ report
Covid problems
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
🚨︎ report
These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Spi__
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
🚨︎ report
What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
🚨︎ report
I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
🚨︎ report
It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Utkarsh_Anand2004
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
🚨︎ report
For Gotham
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeHugsXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
🚨︎ report
The Ancient Romans II
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
🚨︎ report
I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoughtPumP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
🚨︎ report
Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ€­

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kitkatty0309
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
🚨︎ report
It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTreelo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
🚨︎ report
My husband said our infant son could microwave...

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raw0nion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Naan-negotiable
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
🚨︎ report
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.