No more Suez Canal jokes!
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︎ Mar 29 2021
When I post a joke and no one rates...
I just assume they all died from laughter.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
No more Suez Canal jokes! SERIOUSLY! We are considering litigation. Apparently some guy named Ezra keeps posting those jokes...
...and if I canβt sue Ez, can Al?
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︎ Mar 31 2021
There were a few irish friends in a pub and one of them was telling a joke about cows but no one laughed.
He should have told a udder joke
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I became a father today, but no dad jokes are coming to me. Iβm pretty bummed.
Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!
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︎ Jun 24 2020
So Iβm at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still donβt know because he hasnβt opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
βDad, I knew that story wasnβt real because you donβt have any friendsβ
π»π»ππβ οΈβ οΈ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
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︎ Jan 10 2021
If you tell dad jokes but have no kids...
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︎ Dec 02 2020
No joke includes a punchline about the maginot line
I guess it's easier to go around it
Edit: typo
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: βsir, would you like to go out with the cart?β. To which I replied βoh, no thanks Iβm actually marriedβ. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
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︎ Nov 30 2019
My friend has no arms and loves to make jokes about it. They're never any good though.
He doesn't have a funny bone in his body.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
My dad's favorite joke- what do you call a cow with no legs?
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︎ Jun 22 2020
My freind: no body cares about car rental company jokes
Me: well that Hertz :β(
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︎ Sep 15 2020
No one ever laughs at my sausage jokes.
probably because they're the wurst
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︎ Sep 20 2020
I made up a joke about the sound a tap makes when you turn it on full blast, but no one got it.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I finally figured out why almost no one in my family finds my cheesy jokes and puns good.
They are all laughtose intolerant.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Another no-arms, no-legs joke to add to the database...
French woman with Covid?
La Wheez.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
No one laughs at my βbring an extra pair of pants when you go golfingβ joke.
I guess βhole-in-oneβ jokes are sub-par.
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︎ Jul 11 2020
No jokes here...
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︎ Dec 28 2019
This, no joke, might be the best pun Iβve ever read
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︎ Dec 02 2019
I told my friends and family a coronavirus joke at the start of quarantine, and no one laughed.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
Why are there no knock knock jokes about the Fourth of July?
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︎ Jul 04 2020
I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
It wasnβt very cleaver.
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︎ Sep 27 2018
I made a joke about wine in my office, no one laughed
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︎ Jun 24 2020
Dad: Did you hear the joke about farmer brown? Me: No
Dad: Well maybe Iβll tell you someday
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I was going to make a joke about sodium but then I thought.....Na, no one will get it
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︎ Feb 06 2020
This is no time for jokes, Jinping.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
....because freedom rings.
Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!
Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!
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︎ Jul 04 2017
guess its a pun joke (i have no other interesting title sory)
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︎ Oct 13 2019
I make a lot of dad jokes for someone who has no kids.
You could call this a faux pas. Shoots finger guns
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︎ Jan 14 2020
There is no whey I will do a protein joke.
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︎ Dec 28 2019
No joke I just miss my dad. Happy fathers day in heaven dad dad daddy-o
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︎ Jun 17 2018
I made a cheesey joke and no one though it was funny.
They must have been laughtose intolerant.
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︎ Aug 29 2019
No dad jokes are allowed in my city
They are a PUNishable offence!
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︎ Feb 15 2020
I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
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︎ Jan 26 2019
Someone gifted me a book of dad jokes. "No thanks," I said. "I already Reddit."
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︎ Mar 19 2019
People dying from laughter are why the quest for immortality is no joke.
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︎ Aug 28 2019
No matter how corny you believe your eyeball jokes are...
Mine will always be cornea
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︎ Nov 27 2019
Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should be given a no-bell prize
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︎ Jan 06 2019
Awful dad joke no one will get this
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it.
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︎ Jul 17 2019
Do you know why there are no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedome rings.
Yes I am aware I am a day lot. Sorry lovelies!
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︎ Jul 05 2019
Was on a date, made the joke, no regrets
We were walking down the street and I saw the upcoming intersection was "Fairwell Ave."
When we reached the crosswalk, I said I should head home, and then followed up with, "I guess this is farewell."
Eyes rolled but it was worth it.
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︎ May 08 2016
Why are there no jokes about the Jonestown massacre?
Because the punchline is too long.
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︎ Apr 27 2018
No more Suez Canal jokes.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
What do you call a person who makes dad jokes but has no kids?
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︎ Oct 02 2020
This joke has no punchline, here's why
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︎ Sep 13 2019
I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
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︎ Aug 07 2019
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow
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︎ Oct 15 2019
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